


Way Down We Go

by WhatIsToGiveLightMustEndureBurning



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Choking, Dadwald, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mental Health Issues, One-Sided Oswald Cobblepot/Victor Zsasz, Panic Attacks, Parenthood, Rough Sex, Stockholm Syndrome, mild depression, split personality disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 11:33:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 33,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13410378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatIsToGiveLightMustEndureBurning/pseuds/WhatIsToGiveLightMustEndureBurning
Summary: This is my version of the story, canon-compliant, starting from when Oswald wakes up in Ed’s bed. Ed is obsessed with Oswald and drugs him to keep him in his apartment, while Oswald struggles with depression. Oswald is conflicted between escaping and giving into his attraction to Ed, showing signs of Stockholm Syndrome. They eventually part ways and find each other again when Oswald runs for mayor. Ed struggles more and more with his Riddler persona while Oswald comes to terms with his feelings. Ed makes a huge mistake and Martin comes into the picture, awakening Oswald's desire to have a family.UPDATE: I fixed some passages. I advise you to re-read it, now it's so much better.





	1. Monsters (Oswald)

**Author's Note:**

> Let me tell you right away that I believe Edward and Oswald, being who they are, will never have a healthy functional relationship. I will explore that.  
> I’m going to omit many plot points down the line because I don’t want to bore you rewriting them since they stay the same in my story, so just assume that, unless I write otherwise, everything happens like it does in the TV show.  
> I’m pretending Isabella and Sofia don’t exist, Isabella because she was completely random and lazy writing, while Sofia isn’t there because she simply serves no purpose in my version of the story.  
> Also, every chapter has a song at the top, I advise you to listen to it before reading the chapter.  
> And last but not least, next to the chapter titles you’ll see either Edward or Oswald’s name in brackets, which means that the chapter is narrated from their point of view. In cursive are the thoughts of whoever’s point of view the chapter is narrated from.
> 
> Book Cover:  
> http://78.media.tumblr.com/59c4733a57c35a91a3de841ea3c82871/tumblr_inline_p2ryr4C3lX1s19i8m_500.jpg
> 
> My Tumblr:  
> http://iginevra.tumblr.com
> 
> Song List:  
> Way Down We Go - Kaleo, Tag You’re It - Melanie Martinez, Monsters - Hurricane Bells, Meds - Placebo, Strangers - White Lies, Every Me Every You - Placebo, Pioneer To The Falls - Interpol, The Night We Met - Lord Huron, Jailbreak - Awolnation, White Blank Page - Mumford & Sons, 505 - Arctic Monkeys, Sway - The Kooks, I’ll Drown - Sóley, Little Lion Man - Mumford & Sons, Wake Up Alone - Amy Winehouse, Landfill - Daughter, We Must Be Killers - Mikky Ekko.
> 
> Disclaimer:  
> I don’t own the rights to the original story or the songs, of course. I’m in no way romanticising or encouraging abusive and violent behaviour, please don’t assume writers condone what they write about, I just find these themes interesting to explore in fiction. Don’t try it at home, kids.
> 
>  
> 
> Prologue: Tag You’re It
> 
>  
> 
> Looking at me through your window  
> Boy, you had your eye out for a little  
> ‘I'll cut you up and make you dinner  
> You've reached the end, you are the winner’  
> Rolling down your tinted window  
> Driving next to me real slow, he said  
> ‘Let me take you for a joyride  
> I've got some candy for you inside’  
> Running through the parking lot  
> He chased me and he wouldn't stop  
> Tag, you're it, tag, tag, you're it  
> Grabbed my hand, pushed me down  
> Took the words right out my mouth  
> Tag, you're it, tag, tag, you're it
> 
> Little bit of poison in me  
> I can taste your skin in my teeth  
> ‘I love it when I hear you breathing  
> I hope to god you're never leaving’
> 
> Tag You’re It - Melanie Martinez
> 
>  
> 
> ‘Hello, sleepyhead’  
> Oswald slowly regained consciousness. He didn’t recognise that voice.  
> ‘Where am I?’ he asked anxiously.  
> ‘Rapid movement and elevated heart rate are counterproductive to the healing process,’ the voice said.  
> Oswald opened his eyes. The man in front of him took a syringe.  
> ‘No! No! Don't kill me!’  
> Oswald moved frantically to get of of the bed he was apparently lying in. His thoughts were pure panic.  
> ‘Apologies in advance,’ the tall man said and Oswald felt the prick of a needle in his neck. The world unfocused and became blurry around him.  
> ‘Rest up, my feathered friend,’ Oswald thought he heard before everything went black. ‘We have a big night ahead of us’.

_Situation's all critical_

_You've gotta look first before you go_

_If you wasn't too sure then now you know_

_The situation is all critical_

_Wait, okay, you've got to look before you go_

_Deep into the darkness where I hide_

 

_The monsters are buried down deep inside_

_You never know when they're satisfied_

_Buried down deep where the sun don't shine_

_The monsters are buried down deep inside but_

_Wait, okay, you've got to look before you go_

_You're wasting away_

 

Monsters - Hurricane Bells

 

 

This time, as soon as Oswald regained consciousness, he remembered everything that had happened to him in the last few weeks. _MotherGalavanNeedleKnifeBloodMayorKingofGothamJimGunshot-_

‘You drugged me.’

Oswald decided to start with the most pressing matter at hand.

‘That was for your own benefit, Mr Penguin,’ the tall man said, coming out of a dark corner of the room. He wore glasses and looked strangely familiar.

‘You have extensive injuries.’ He sounded genuinely concerned.

Oswald narrowed his eyes at him. ’I know you.’

The strange man smiled. ’Ed. Nygma.’

 

His name rang a bell but Oswald’s brain was still too scrambled and worked slowly, as if it were making its way through mud.

One thing was certain, though. E. Nygma was a memorable name to give to a child.

‘We met once before, at the GCPD,’ Ed said hopefully.

His voce sounded eager and insecure, confusing Oswald even more.

‘You're not a cop,’ Oswald guessed by the fanboy attitude.

Ed seemed quite amused at that. ‘Oh, no, no, no,’ he smiled.

‘No, I'm in forensics.’

_That doesn’t explain why he keeps me in his apartment._

 

Ed enthusiastically started what was probably going to be a long explanation.

’Do you believe in fate?’ Ed’s eyes lit up.

In that moment Oswald noticed he was in someone else’s pyjamas and in someone else’s bed.

’Where are my clothes?’

‘Oh, I threw them away.’

Oswald stared, wide-eyed.

‘They were filthy,’ Ed explained as if that made perfect sense.

Oswald struggled to get up and studied his surroundings. He didn’t seem to be in imminent danger, at least.

 

‘Oh, no.’ Edward tried to reach for him but Oswald was quicker.

He limped towards the window, trying to figure out where in the city he was taken by a complete stranger. Gotham’s usual grey and foggy landscape wasn’t telling him much about their exact location.

Ed took hold of him. ‘Uh, I'm afraid, sir, that you can't leave.’

‘You sedate me again, and I swear, I will-‘

‘Sir! You are a wanted man,’ Ed seemed to suddenly find his confidence. ‘You can try and run, but in your condition, you'll get about three blocks.’

Oswald walked back to the bed and fell onto the mattress, feeling trapped, knowing Ed was right. His shoulder hurt like hell.

 

‘I'm afraid that you're stuck here until you recover,’ Ed said, sounding anything but sorry. ‘Now, drink up.’

Oswald pushed away the glass offered to him.

 _My mother used to put a straw in my glass, too._ Oswald’s heart dropped.

‘It's just water,’ Ed assured him. ‘Dehydration is common after prolonged outdoor exposure.’

Seeing as apparently he wasn’t going anywhere for a while, Oswald decided to take a direct approach. ’What do you want from me?’

‘Remember I had mentioned fate?’ Ed’s huge smile came back. ‘Recently, I've been going through a sort of… change.’

 

After a long pause Ed continued, ‘’What kind of change?’ you ask.’

‘I didn’t-‘

‘I've started murdering people!’

_Why doesn’t he just kill me?_

‘Wow! That is thrilling to say out loud!’ Ed had the same joy of a small child.

Oswald’s interest was peaked. ‘How many people?’

‘Three in total.’

Oswald’s unimpressed look didn’t seem to deter Ed.

‘Two of them I didn't really care for. But one was my girlfriend, Ms Kringle.’

Oswald thought it was strange to call your girlfriend "Miss", but then again what would he know about that?He sighed. ’If you're planning on killing me, could you get on with it? At this point, it would come as a welcome relief.’

He fell back on the pillow and stared into nothing, sensing the hopelessness he had been trying to avoid with plans of revenge against Galavan closing in.

 

‘Oh, heavens. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.’ Ed seemed horrified at the thought. ‘I have no ill intentions toward you.’

Ed walked closer to Oswald.

‘Then what are your intentions?’ Oswald was even more confused now.

‘I need guidance, Mr Penguin. These murders changed me. And like the butterfly, I've come to realise that I cannot be a caterpillar once again. And you're one of the city's most notorious killers.’

He clearly meant it as a compliment.

Ed checked Oswald’s reaction, which remained neutral.

‘I brought you here… in part, because I was hoping you could guide me on this new path.’

‘Listen, friend-’

‘Ed.’

 

Oswald got up and walked back to the window, dragging his bad leg.

The city outside looked like it was dying from lung cancer, as always.

’My empire is in ruins. I'm a wanted man with no friends. And my mother, the one person I swore to protect, is dead because of my weakness.’

Oswald was crying silently.

‘Believe me when I tell you that this path you're on leads to nothing but destruction and pain.’

Oswald walked to the door, ready to storm out, but Ed stepped in front of him and suddenly seemed a much more confident man.

‘You have me.’

Oswald gaped.

‘You cannot leave. I am your friend. You have me.’

 

Oswald didn’t know how to respond to that.

‘You want me to stay here?’

‘Yes’

‘In your apartment?’

‘Yes’

‘In your bed?’

Ed’s confidence seemed to falter at that.

Oswald finally lost his patience and tried to get around Ed to reach the door.

‘I’m sorry,’ Ed said.

Oswald didn’t even have time to react, he felt a needle on the back of his neck and went limb. Before he blacked out, he felt Ed’s arms closing around him from behind, then the world seemed to melt away from his eyes.

 


	2. Meds (Edward)

_I was alone, falling free_

_Trying my best not to forget_

_What happened to us, what happened to me_

_What happened as I let it slip_

 

_I was confused by the powers that be_

_Forgetting names and faces_

_Passersby were looking at me_

_As if they could erase it_

 

_Baby, did you forget to take your meds?_

_Baby, did you forget to take your meds?_

 

_I was alone staring over the ledge_

_Trying my best not to forget_

_All manner of joy, all manner of glee_

_And our one heroic pledge_

 

_How it mattered to us, how it mattered to me_

_And the consequences_

_I was confused by the birds and the bees_

_Forgetting if I meant it_

 

Meds - Placebo

 

 

While Oswald was sleeping off his medication, Ed went to the bathroom. He splashed cold water on his face.

His hands were shaking.

‘You should thank me.’

Ed looked up at the mirror, startled. The other Ed was staring back at him, a reflection of his own thoughts.

‘Please go away.’

‘I can’t do that. I’m in your head, dummy!’ The other Ed smiled.

‘You weren’t honest with him, Eddie. We both know the real reason he’s here.’

Ed opened the cabinet behind the mirror so he didn’t have to look at himself in it.

 

‘Oh, come on. You know ignoring me never works. I’m _you_!’

Ed slammed the mirror cabinet closed.

‘Leave me alone! I found him dying in the woods, he was shot, I brought him here to take care of his wound-’

‘Since when are you the good samaritan?’

Ed swallowed.

‘You patched him up, yes. But _I_ brought him here.’

Ed forcefully rubbed his face dry with a towel.

‘Stumbling into Penguin, of all people.’ The other Ed had a predatory grin on his face. ‘You’ve had your eye on him for a while now, you should thank me for seizing the moment.’ He looked like Christmas had come early this year.

Ed closed his eyes, feeling ashamed. ‘I _am_ grateful.’

 

‘Watch out, Eddie.’ Ed looked up at the sudden change of tone, much more serious now. ‘The drugs I gave him won’t last forever.’

_How much has he given him? How much is left of the solution? Maybe I should restock my shelf…_

‘If we’re not careful, he’ll slip right through our fingers.’

Ed swallowed and tried not to think of Oswald leaving. He took some of his own medication, out of habit more than anything else. It was supposed to stop the hallucinations but it was obviously not working.

Ed came out of the bathroom more disheveled than he had gone in, heart beating wildly in his chest.

 _Is he right?_ He asked himself while watching Oswald’s small frame curled up in _his_ bed, sleeping.

 

He sat down on the edge of the bed, next to the king of Gotham. He seemed so peaceful in his sleep, so different from his usual haughty self. His chest heaved softly with every breath, which Ed found strangely reassuring. Strands of hair had fallen all over his forehead, no gel left to keep it tucked in carefully stylised spikes that made him look even more like a little bird.

 _My cute feathered friend_.

He caught himself reaching out to get the hair out of his face, stopped in mid air and exhaled softly.

Then he suddenly got up and started undressing. It was getting dark and he needed some sleep before Oswald woke up.

He decided to wear bright green pyjamas and got under the blanket next to his new friend. He took his sleeping pills and, after a second of hesitation, he put his arm over the smaller man’s waist.

 

He wasn’t sure how much was the last dosage, having injected it in a rush, so he had no way of knowing how long it’d last. Ed was a very light sleeper, so if Oswald tried to slip away, he would notice if he snuggled up behind him. With that thought comforting him, he closed his eyes and pretended he didn’t enjoy how full his bed felt when he shared it with someone else.

 


	3. Strangers (Oswald)

_I pressed my ear to your chest and heard something personal_

_A whisper that knew my name_

_Is this how your heart treats all strangers,_

_With love and affection?_

_Then I feel cold and empty_

 

_I've got a sense of urgency_

_I've gotta make this happen_

_No stone unturned_

 

_I held your hand while you were sleeping_

_The whole night you gripped to mine_

_A grip that begged me to stay_

_Is this how your limbs treat all strangers,_

_With love and affection?_

_Then I feel weak and empty_

 

_Strangers don't hide_

_The morning hunts you down_

_And there's nothing stranger than to love someone_

 

_I heard the water beat on your skin a shower of discipline_

_As heavy as iron_

_And I imagined the hand that gripped mine_

_Now gripping the gaps in the tile_

_Just holding on tight_

 

Strangers - White Lies

 

 

Oswald woke up breaking a sweat, which was strange considering he was always cold.

The afternoon light streamed through the window and he felt groggy. The heat seemed to be radiating from the person lying next to him, holding him tight with one arm. Oswald suddenly opened his eyes.

He had been drugged. _Again._

And as if that wasn’t enough, his captor had decided to take a nap with him. He wasn’t sure if Ed had meant to hug him or if he did that unconsciously in his sleep, but either way it was clear that man had no boundaries.

Oswald turned around carefully under Ed’s arm, facing his captor.

_E. Nygma. The name certainly fits him._

 

It was hard to reconcile the forceful kidnapper with the deeply insecure man who had approached him at the GCPD, with a smile and a riddle. He seemed to have two personalities, one sweet and docile, the other ruthless and dangerous.

Ed had very delicate features, everything about his face seemed to be _small_ , especially his nose. His ears, on the other hand, looked like Dumbo’s.

 _It’s impossible not to find them cute_.

Oswald shook his head, confused by his last thought.

 

Ed must have felt him moving, because he flexed the hand resting on Oswald’s side, gripping his pyjama top.

Oswald took a deep breath and tried to relax.

It was hard to feel scared of Ed, he didn’t seem threatening at all. He looked nerdy even without his glasses, and quite innocent, especially when he was cuddling with him in bed.

Oswald closed his eyes firmly. _Right, why be scared of the man who kidnapped and drugged me?_

Oswald sounded sarcastic even when he was thinking.

He opened his eyes and tried to get up without waking Ed.

No such luck.

‘Where are you going?’

 

Oswald’s heart skipped a beat and he turned his head back to the pillows. Ed opened his eyes and looked at him, evidently waiting for an answer. But his eyes weren’t dangerous this time, they looked like he was back to his milder insecure self.

Oswald hadn’t actually thought about where to go yet, but he improvised. ‘Bathroom. I need a shower.’

Since he was stuck with an obviously unstable man, it would probably help to be nice. Or at least try. He attempted a smile.

Ed noticed Oswald’s sweaty back and loosened his grip on his pyjamas. ‘Oh, of course! I usually sleep alone so I didn’t think about it.’

Oswald blinked.

‘My body temperature has always been a bit too high.’

 

Another moment of silence passed.

‘That’s fine. So can I use your bathroom?’

‘Right, yes, sorry. Behind you, on the right.’

Ed helped Oswald to get up and walked him to the door, holding his arm so he wouldn’t put too much weight on his bad leg.

They stopped in front of the door and Oswald thanked him, hoping he would take the hint and let him use the bathroom alone.

Ed didn’t move, smiling at Oswald, blissfully unaware of the awkward situation.

‘Ed, _I need_ -‘ Oswald stopped and tried again. ‘ _Can I_ shower on my own?’

 

Ed seemed to understand only now that he was supposed to leave, blushed and let go of Oswald’s arm.

Oswald, more confused than ever, finally got into the bathroom and closed the door. The small round window was too high to risk escaping from it, considering one of his legs was completely useless.

In that moment, Oswald realised it would take much more than his legendary improvisation skills to escape from that situation.

He looked in the mirror before entering the shower. His hair was all over the place and his face was pink, with pillow creases everywhere.

His mother would have scolded him for such a debauched look. He blushed and promised himself to style his hair into his signature Penguin hairdo, when he was done showering.

 

While showering, he tried to think of a plan to escape. Ed was evidently hell-bent to keep him there and Oswald couldn’t move fast, so he had to incapacitate him somehow before attempting to leave. He was too weak to hurt him, so he had to distract him in some other way.

In the end, Oswald decided to wait until Ed would eventually let his guard down. That strange man was definitely violent, but he seemed to genuinely care about Oswald’s wellbeing and maybe even like him.

When Oswald got out of the shower he saw some clothes folded neatly in front of him, a simple black suit. He realised Ed must have come in during the shower and he felt exposed. But he did need some clothes to wear and he already knew the man had no boundaries, so he decided to be thankful for the thick shower curtains and get dressed.

 

With his signature suit and hair, he felt more like himself and better than he had in the last couple of days. As soon as he stepped out of the door, he smelled cheese baking in the oven and his stomach grumbled. He followed the heavenly smell to the small kitchen isle, where Ed was busying himself with several fuming pans.

Oswald, not knowing what to do, cleared his throat, a few steps behind Ed.

Ed turned around. ’Hello, Mr Penguin! I just realised how rude I was, not realising you must be starving. You need your strength to heal, please do take a seat.’

Oswald looked down at the table. It was set for two people, with sunflowers in the middle.

_How long have I been showering?_

He sat down and looked at Ed handling two pans at the same time, while opening the oven.

_No, I was quick. This man is just hyperactive._

 

After a few minutes Ed brought everything to the table and sat down.

‘I don’t know what you like, so I did a bit of everything.’

Ed’s smile was impossibly sweet, and at this point Oswald was fearing for _his own_ mental health. He cleared his throat again, this time out of a real need to clear it, and started taking some lasagna into his plate.

Oswald started to eat right away, obviously famished.

‘It’s very good,’ he said when he saw the guilt on Ed’s face.

Ed smiled and apologised again for the late lunch. He seemed really disappointed with himself for not thinking of it sooner.

 

They ate in awkward silence until Oswald decided to try having a normal conversation. ‘You can call me Oswald.’

Ed looked up from his plate, surprised.

‘Oswald,’ he repeated the name, seeming to enjoy the taste of it in his mouth.

‘Oswald,‘ Ed reached out over the table, covering Oswald’s hand with his own, ‘I am very sorry about your mother. I’ve never met mine so I cannot possibly know what losing a mother feels like, but I imagine it’s painful.’

Oswald opened and closed his mouth, speechless. That was the last thing he expected to hear and the words just started spilling from his mouth.

 

‘Every night when I was young, my mother would sing a song to me when I was going to bed. And every time, she would tell me ‘Oswald, don't listen to the other children. You're handsome and clever. And some day, you will be a great man.’ She said that every time.’

Oswald was hearing himself speak as if he were out of his body.

‘That’s all I have left now… memories. And they're like daggers in my heart.’

‘Not forever.’ Ed’s reply came as a shock to Oswald, who didn’t understand why he had said all of that out loud.

Ed quickly got up from his chair and opened a drawer, getting out a pair of glasses. ‘These were Ms Kringle’s. It's all I have left to remember her by. But when I look at these, I don't feel sadness anymore. I feel gratitude. And do you know why?’

 

Oswald could just stare uncomprehendingly.

‘Because she was part of my life, she helped me become who I am now, and I am grateful for that.’

Still hearing only silence from Oswald, Ed started explaining himself.

’I don’t presume to compare a woman who didn’t love me enough to accept me as I am, to your mother, but-’ Then he seemed to realise something. ‘I wish I could have met my mother.’

Oswald dropped his fork on the plate and listened to his heart beating like a drum, so fast it seemed as if it was trying to escape from his ribcage.

_Where would my heart go if it could leave me? It has no one to go to, now._

He violently shook his head, trying to clear it.

 

Oswald’s eyes were filled with tears so he didn’t see Ed walking around the table, pressing Oswald’s face against his chest. Ed laid his cheek on the top of Oswald’s head, holding him close and rocking him back and forward like a baby.

Oswald found Ed’s calm heartbeat soothing and instinctively brought his own arms up to hug him back. He cried his heart out, until his eyes were red and sore.

Ed held him tight for the whole time and didn’t say a word.

At some point Oswald could have sworn he felt a light kiss on the top of his head, but he was so exhausted that it was hard to tell. His head felt like it was split in half, tears always carried a headache with them.

When he started sliding off the chair, Ed helped him up and brought him back to bed.

 

‘You’re still recovering from extensive injuries and dehydration,’ he said taking the previously refused glass of water from the nightstand, where he had left it. ‘Please drink, Oswald.’

This time Oswald didn’t protest and drank the whole glass. _Through a straw._

He started crying again, this time silently.

Ed undressed him like a child, folding all the layers neatly on a chair nearby. When Oswald was down to a white tank top and blue boxers, Ed helped him under the sheets.

When Ed made to leave Oswald, the smaller man grabbed his wrist, keeping him there.

Whatever look Oswald gave him in that moment, it must have been convincing because Ed complied.

Oswald suddenly felt desperately alone and pulled Ed to him, more forcefully than he had meant to.

 

Ed stumbled onto the bed and exchanged a surprised look with Oswald.

_Who is this Riddle Man? How does he make me feel so helplessly naked?_

Ed seemed to understand the wordless plead in Oswald’s eyes, and slipped under the sheets with him, fully dressed.

They just looked at each other for the longest time, foreheads almost touching on the pillow, until Oswald’s red-rimmed eyes started drooping.

The last thing he felt was Ed’s hand holding his, then darkness finally claimed him.

 


	4. Every Me Every You (Edward)

_Sucker love is heaven sent_

_You pucker up, our passion's spent_

_My heart’s a tart, your body's rent_

_My body's broken, yours is bent_

 

_Carve your name into my arm_

_Instead of stressed I lie here charmed_

_Cause there's nothing else to do_

_Every me and every you_

 

_Sucker love, a box I choose_

_No other box I choose to use_

_Another love I would abuse_

_No circumstances could excuse_

_In the shape of things to come,_

_Too much poison come undone_

_Cause there's nothing else to do,_

_Every me and every you_

 

Every Me Every You - Placebo

 

 

_‘The fire has gone out_

_Wet from snow above_

_But nothing will warm me more_

_Than my, my mother's love_

_I light another candle_

_To dry the tears from my face’_

 

Ed was singing while playing the piano, happy to have finally cracked the mystery that woke him in the early morning.

Oswald had been whispering the words to that song in his sleep and Ed couldn’t rest until he figured out how to play the tune. Maybe this would bring some joy to his little penguin.

After a couple of minutes of playing, Oswald woke up.

‘Why are you playing this song?’

Ed stopped playing and smiled.

’I can bring tears to your eyes and resurrect the dead. I form in an instant and last a lifetime. What am I?’

‘A memory.’

Ed was very pleased that Oswald had guessed. He got up and went to sit on the edge of the bed. He was doing his best to give Oswald some space, although that was difficult to do in a studio apartment.

 _’_ You were humming this in your sleep. I figured it has meaning for you.’

 

Oswald brought the blankets up to his ears and blushed, evidently remembering the night before.

‘That’s the song my mother sang to me every night as a child.’

‘It’s a very nice song.’

Oswald looked up, hesitant. ‘Would you sing it once again for me?’

Ed smiled his signature grin. ‘Of course. But before that…’

Oswald watched Ed go to the kitchen isle and come back with food.

‘Breakfast!’ Ed had promised himself never to let Oswald skip a meal again, if he could help it. The man looked so small and delicate.

 

Ed carried a tray full of waffles to the bed and started eating them with Oswald.

When he noticed Oswald was shivering, he got up and brought him a warm robe.

Oswald looked at the robe and laughed. ‘Is everything you own bright green?’

Ed’s smile fell off his face. _He’s making fun of me. Like everybody else._

Oswald realised his mistake. ‘No, sorry, I meant: I never met anyone with such a passion for green.’

Ed looked up at that.

‘Green looks very nice on you,’ Oswald added.

When Ed blushed and looked down, Oswald seemed to realise what he had just said and hurried to put on the robe and go back to his waffles.

 

—

 

After breakfast, Ed played the song one more time and this time he looked at Oswald’s face while doing so. Oswald’s eyes were shiny but there were no tears. He seemed entranced by the music and followed Ed’s fingers on the keys with his eyes.

Ed cleared his throat and got up from the piano chair. He decided to check on Oswald’s wound and his mind started wandering. _In a couple of days he’ll realise he can walk away from here, although painfully, and he’ll leave me just like Ms Kringle… tried to._

He started changing the bandages and saw Oswald smile up at him.

_Or maybe not. Oswald seems to need me as much as I need him. Maybe I don’t have to call in sick at work anymore… maybe my little bird will stay in the cage out of his own free will._

 

‘Oh, please!’

Ed gasped at the harsh voice. _My voice_. _Oh no._

The other Ed materialised next to the bed, Cheshire cat grin in place.

’We need to talk.’

Ed’s double leaned in to touch Oswald’s hair. ‘So fluffy.’

‘Ed, are you alright?’ Oswald seemed confused, looking over his wound, evidently worried that Ed had gasped at something he saw under the old bandages.

‘Yes, everything’s fine. Excuse me.’ He hurriedly got up and left Oswald on the bed, with a confused expression on his face.

 

Ed slammed the bathroom door shut and angrily faced his other self.

‘You’re becoming quite _invasive.’_

‘I cannot just stand by while you delude yourself over _our little bird._ ’

‘I was just considering… after last night, maybe I can go back to work. So Jim doesn’t have any reason to get suspicious, and Oswald can stay here-‘

‘By himself? Are you insane?!’

There was an awkward pause then, the two Eds facing each other.

‘Fair enough, point taken.’ The other Ed laughed. ‘But still, you can’t possibly think-‘

‘I don’t know _what_ to think.’ Ed rubbed his eyes under the glasses. ‘First he tries to run off, then he pulls me into bed with him, and now he looks at me as if he actually likes me and-‘

‘Oh, Eddie.’ The other Ed looked genuinely disappointed. ‘No one likes you.’

The real Ed’s face fell.

 

‘You’re the freak with no friends, remember?’

The other Ed smiled ferociously. ‘Listen to me: tie him up to the bed and show up at work, so no one starts questioning your absence. Then come back home… and see if he even _wants_ to be untied.’ His grin got wider.

Ed blushed furiously and tried to keep calm. ‘He doesn’t see me like that…’

‘Or does he?’ The other Ed always seemed five steps ahead of him, leaving Ed in the dark.

‘We’ll just have to wait and see, I guess. Maybe he likes _me_ better, Eddie, have you considered that?’

Ed visibly swallowed and closed his eyes whispering, ‘Shut up.’

‘Maybe he likes it a bit rough, your sweet little penguin-’

‘SHUT UP!’

 

In that moment Oswald suddenly barged into the bathroom, slamming the door wide open, looking alarmed.

‘What’s going on? I heard you talk to someone and then scream-‘

Ed turned around and slammed Oswald up against the door, effectively closing it. Pressing his body flush against him and whispering in his ear, ‘Has no one ever told you it’s rude to eavesdrop?’

Oswald’s eyes went wide with fear and… something else.

_Is the other me right?_

Oswald’s eyes looked impossibly blu under bright electric lights, like the ice penguins thrive on. But Ed knew they turned green in the darkness.

_Only one way to find out._

Ed brushed a hand against Oswald’s cheek, which turned even more crimson. Ed’s eyes fell on his parted lips, so often stretched into a thin line of annoyance, now just looking very red and soft. _Lips to bruise._

It was then that he felt pressure against his thigh.

_He is aroused._

 

Ed stumbled back and stared, shocked. Oswald had been kidnapped, drugged, kept against his will and probably already guessed Ed was hearing voices, and still he was _attracted to him._

Ed didn’t know what to do. The other Ed seemed to have disappeared into thin air, leaving him at a loss for words. He didn’t have much experience with lust, especially considering his one time consisted of lukewarm sex, with a woman who wasn’t that much into him in the first place.

Oswald seemed to recover from his deer-in-the-headlights trance and his already paler-than-death skin drained of what little colour it had.

Ed tried reaching out for him, his mind swirling like crazy to find something to say, _anything_ , but Oswald stepped out of reach.

He seemed to steel himself.

 

‘Who were you talking to?’

Ed just stared.

‘There’s no one here,’ Oswald added, looking around to check.

Ed’s mouth went suddenly dry, but he tried to speak. ’I have-‘

He swallowed and tried again. ‘I have very vivid… hallucinations.’

Silence followed.

‘Of what, may I ask?’ Oswald seemed surprisingly calm.

‘Of me, mostly.’

Oswald seemed confused at that.

‘I mean, _the other me,_ the one with no restraints. The one who introduced me to murder.’

Ed’s heart beat wildly. _I have never talked about this with a_ _nyone before,_ he realised _._

 

Oswald seemed to understand, then, as if something had just slotted into place. ‘Do you see him often?’

Ed wasn’t sure if he asked out of fear or curiosity.

‘I- He comes whenever he doesn’t like what I’m doing. When he can’t take control of me directly, he appears to try to convince me to… do things.’

Oswald’s eyes bore into Ed’s. ‘What things?’

‘As I told you, murder-‘

‘Apart from that?’

Ed exhaled. ‘What is it that you want to know, exactly?’

‘Did he tell you to kidnap me?’

‘Yes.’

‘Drug me?’

‘Yes.’

‘Fuck me?’

A sharp intake of breath. ‘Y-yes.’

 

Ed didn’t know what to expect so he just waited, frozen in place, but Oswald didn’t seem as scared as he had every right to be.

Oswald drew himself up to his quite modest height, somehow making it look like he was towering over Ed. ‘You can certainly _try,_ Riddle Man. But you’re very unlikely to succeed without my permission.’

Ed remained speechless, impressed by his fearless defiance. Now he saw how the Penguin got his reputation. _Tough birdie._

He promised himself never to call him that out loud, though, he didn’t want to lose any fingers.

‘I’m very sorry about this, Oswald.’

Oswald sighed. He didn’t seem particularly worried.

‘Everyone has their demons, Ed.’ He opened the bathroom door. ‘Yours just has a face.’

Ed exhaled softly. He had never seen it that way before.

‘Now, can you please finish up with my bandages?’

Ed smiled, relieved, and helped Oswald back to the bed.

 


	5. Pioneer To The Falls (Oswald)

_The soul can wait_

_Well, it is still pretty what with all these leaks_

_We'll be fine_

 

_I know you try,_

_You try straight into my heart_

_You fly straight into my heart_

_But here comes the fall_

 

_So much for make believe and not so_

_So much for dreams we see but not prepared to know_

_Your heart makes me feel_

_Your heart makes me moan_

_For always and ever I'll never let go_

_Always concealed, safe and inside, alive_

 

_Show me the dirt pile and I will pray that the soul can take three stowaways_

_In a passion it broke, I pull the black from the grey, but the soul can wait_

_I felt you so much today_

 

Pioneer To The Falls - Interpol

 

 

In the evening they had pizza and played chess.

They didn’t speak about what happened in the morning for the entire day, and Ed seemed to be waiting for some kind of violent confrontation.

Oswald’s mind wandered astray and he stared into the other man’s deep brown eyes over the chessboard, trying to figure out what was going on in that chaotic mind. He observed Ed’s eyes were so dark that if you looked into them for too long, you tripped and fell into a black abyss. Oswald felt pleasantly claustrophobic when that happened, staying still in the eye of the storm.

Oswald made a point of never lying to himself, and he had to admit it felt wonderful to be at the centre of such undivided attention, even as a captive.

 

They were playing chess for the third time in a row and Ed had won the first two games. It was evident from his moves that he had a brilliant mind, prone to strategy.

On the other hand, Oswald’s strong suit had always been improvisation. His mind was more elastic and manipulative.

The third time Oswald won, with a last minute surprise move. Ed smiled admiringly. ‘How very… you.’

Oswald blushed. He wasn’t used to compliments, people usually either underestimated him or feared him.

_Only my mother… but it doesn’t matter anymore._

 

Oswald shivered from the cold, realising it was already past midnight.

Ed saw it and brought him a blanket.

‘No, it’s late. Take me to bed.’

Ed blushed furiously but helped him up and led him to the bed.

_Trust the man who literally jumped me only hours ago to be so bashful._

They reached the bed and Oswald shed his robe, revealing a tank top and boxers. That was all he could afford to wear in bed with Ed, the man was a living furnace.

Ed dropped the blanket on the bed and looked at him with a questioning look in his eyes. ‘What about Galavan?’

Taken aback, Oswald froze. ‘What about him?’

‘He killed your mother,’ Ed started unbuttoning his shirt. ‘You talk about it all the time in your sleep.’

‘Kindly get to the point, Ed.’ Oswald spat out, already brimming with repressed rage.

Ed abruptly stopped undressing. ‘Why is he still alive?’

 

Oswald took a deep breath. ‘He might have given the order but I was the one who killed my mother.’

‘That is not true-‘

‘What do _you_ know?’ Oswald started yelling. ‘Has anyone ever used someone you love against you? Have you ever lost the only person in the whole world who loves you back?’

Oswald got up from the bed, trembling.

Ed remained silent.

’I didn’t think so.’ Oswald fell back on the bed, shaking with emotion.

‘I put her in danger. I left her defenceless in a city of criminals. I was the king of Gotham!’

Ed’s eyes filled with tears.

‘And I didn’t protect the only thing worth protecting from my enemies.’ Oswald’s voice broke on the last syllable.

 

After a few minutes of silence Ed sat down next to Oswald on the bed. He put a tentative hand on his shoulder.

Oswald’s eyes stopped staring blindly ahead and turned to Ed.

In that moment, everything seemed so clear. Oswald’s whole world started and ended with Ed. He was alone, left for dead, his empire in ruins. Then suddenly Ed was there when he woke up, there again when he went to sleep. Ed fed him, dressed him, cheered him up, healed him and sang to him. Ed was his only source of life. He wasn’t scared of Oswald and accepted his murderous nature without blinking, even _admired_ him for it. Not even Oswald’s own mother accepted his true nature, blind to it until the very end.

There was nothing outside that apartment, no people, no responsibilities, no pain. No nothing.

‘ _What I want, the poor have, the rich need, and if you eat it you'll die.’_ Ed’s voice echoed in Oswald’s brain.

_If you eat it you’ll die._

 

’Your mother’s death is not your fault.’ Ed had the sweetest smile. ‘And when you’re ready, we’ll take back your crown. Together.’

A chocked sound escaped Oswald and he unceremoniously pulled Ed on top of him. Pulling him by his shirt, he accidentally ripped it open, making the buttons fly everywhere, some rolling on the floor, some disappearing in the sheets.

Oswald didn’t stop to apologise and kissed him straight on the mouth.

After a moment of shock, Ed opened his mouth to the kiss with a moan and forcefully pushed Oswald against the mattress. Ed’s pupils were blown so wide his eyes looked pitch black.

Oswald’s mind short circuited, he gave up logic thought completely and dug his fingernails in Ed’s back, only stopping when Ed screamed in pain. He had drawn blood.

 

Ed’s erection became rock-hard against his thigh and Oswald took it as a sign to continue with his torture.

Oswald felt like a man dying from thirst being denied water. Ed’s kisses were so frustrating, instead of satiating him, they made him even _more_ hungry than he was before. He decided to literally take things into his own hands and grabbed Ed’s hand, pressing it against his groin.

Ed suddenly broke the kiss and looked at Oswald’s face, with the expression of someone trying to solve the most complex mathematical problem. He was worrying his lower lip while Oswald stared back, confused.

_Why are stopping?_

Then he finally realised.

_Oh._

‘You have my permission, Ed,’ he breathed softly.

Ed exhaled in relief and resumed kissing him, slipping his hand inside Oswald’s boxers.

Oswald whimpered weakly and arched his back, pushing back to mimic the rhythm of Ed’s hand.

Ed was moaning just as much as Oswald, it seemed like he didn’t care that he was still trapped in his constricting trousers, he was enjoying giving pleasure.

Oswald was too far gone to notice that Ed had closed his free hand on his throat until he was already squeezing the air out of his lungs.

He looked up at Ed, surprised, and saw in his eyes how exhilarated he was to be in that position. 

 

Surprised, Oswald did his best not to complain until the world started swimming before his eyes and he couldn’t resist any longer.

He needed to breathe.

Ed saw his eyes closing and instantly released his throat, while Oswald came all over his hand with a strangled scream, quickly muffled by Ed’s kiss.

Oswald breathed heavily through his nose and let himself be kissed thoroughly, feeling like he was treading on the fine line between perfect bliss and passing out.

Oswald’s head dropped back on the pillow, interrupting the kiss, and he felt his shoulder wound start to pull at the skin while his leg burned up.

Ed's hand slipping outside of Oswald’s boxers and Ed pulled them both up in a sitting position on the edge of the bed.

He pulled a wobbling Oswald up on his feet. ’Let’s go clean up.’

 

Oswald felt completely boneless and spent, leaning heavily on Ed while going to the bathroom. Ed quickly and efficiently showered him, brushed both of their teeth and led him back to bed.

Oswald’s mind felt slow and muddy, but before passing out he managed a feeble ‘Thank you’.

 


	6. The Night We Met (Edward)

_I am not the only traveler_

_Who has not repaid his debt_

_I've been searching for a trail to follow again_

_Take me back to the night we met_

 

_And then I can tell myself_

_What the hell I'm supposed to do_

_And then I can tell myself_

_Not to ride along with you_

 

_Oh, take me back to the night we met_

_When the night was full of terrors_

_And your eyes were filled with tears_

_When you had not touched me yet_

_Oh, take me back to the night we met_

 

The Night We Met - Lord Huron

 

 

That night Ed stayed awake for hours, just staring at Oswald’s face resting on the pillow next to him.

He still felt elated from their kisses and… everything else.

Oswald was truly remarkable, a creature of pure instinct, who forced him to take all of his planning and all his inhibitions and just throw them out the window. With him, Ed could just be himself.

His first time with Ms Kringle was pleasant but much less passionate, he had felt desired but not viscerally craved like he felt with Oswald. His back was still bleeding and sore even after he had quickly cleaned it up, while showering Oswald. His little penguin, who looked so adorable and innocent now, literally broke the skin _with his bare nails._

Oswald’s big baby blues and fluffy hair sometimes made Ed forget his reputation as ruthless killer with a taste for violence.

 

Ed thought back to when they had first met, at the GCPD, and smiled at the details of his encounter with the infamous Oswald Cobblepot.

 

———

 

Ed spotted Oswald right away, standing next to Jim Gordon’s empty desk, looking impatient and annoyed. If his limp wasn’t enough to give him away, the suit and hairdo were unmistakable.

 _The man certainly has style_.

At that time Ed’s true nature hadn’t blossomed just yet, but even then he was deeply fascinated by Gotham’s kingpin and especially by Oswald’s audacity to casually show up at the Police Department. Not for the first time.

Intrigued, Ed followed him from afar, keeping an eye on his movements while pretending to do some work. When Oswald noticed him looking, he started walking in the opposite direction, among the desks.

Ed followed suit, walking in a parallel line, looking up to check that he wasn’t losing him along the way. Oswald stared back defiantly, daring Ed to keep blatantly following him.

Ed kept blatantly following him.

 

They met halfway and Ed took a few steps closer. It felt as if there was a gravitational black hole pulling him towards Oswald.

‘Can I help you?’ Oswald seemed already at the end of his rope.

‘I don't think so.’ Ed smiled.

‘Can you?’

They both chuckled awkwardly.

_What am I doing?_

 

’What do you want?’ asked Oswald, without losing the smile.

Ed’s mind helpfully provided him with a riddle. ’What I want, the poor have, the rich need, and if you eat it you'll die.’

‘Is this-‘ Oswald’s smile fell off his face and he did the cutest double take.

He tried again. ‘Are you asking me a riddle?’

Ed’s eyes lit up. ’Do you like riddles?’

‘No.’ Oswald was obviously struggling to figure out why Ed had come up to him.

_If only I knew why myself._

‘So do you give up?’

 

Oswald huffed out a small laugh and stretched his smile threateningly wide.

‘Friend, lookit-‘

‘Nothing.’ Ed couldn’t help but blurt out with a smile. ‘The answer is nothing. The poor have it, the rich need it, and if you eat it-‘

Oswald held up a hand imperiously. ’Who are you?’

‘Edward. Nygma.’ Ed always stretched out the N in Nygma when he was nervous. He had the irrational fear that someone would call him out on the fact that it was not his real family name.

‘I know who _you_ are.’

Oswald just blinked at him for a second, mouth agape, then seemed to find his resolve again and gave him a vicious smile. ‘Then you know that you're standing too close.’

Ed reluctantly took a single step back, making a grimace.

_Maybe I should compliment him, people like compliments._

 

Oswald started turning away.

’Did you know that male emperor penguins keep their eggs warm by balancing them on their feet?’

Oswald turned back to him and Ed took it as a good sign.

‘Isn’t that neat?’

Oswald took a step closer, with a menacing look.

’Nice to meet you, sir. Keep moving.’

But Ed, against all logic, wasn’t afraid of Oswald at all. On the contrary, Ed realised in that moment why he had made a complete fool of himself just to talk to him.

’Will do.’

 

_———_

 

That night, Ed fell asleep next to Oswald without the help of his pills.

 


	7. Jailbreak (Oswald)

_See, I've been working on a jailbreak_

_Got no time for a mistake_

_Any moment 'til the day breaks_

_No more time to get to know you_

 

_I've been working on a jailbreak_

_Keep it calm with the fast pace_

_Any moment until the day breaks_

_No more time to get to know you_

 

_Now I'm living in a dream_

_And I don't think I'm ever going to wake up_

 

_See, I've been working on a jailbreak_

_Got no time for a new fate_

_Any moment they'll replace me_

_Should have tried to get to know you_

 

_I've been working on my timing_

_Insecurity beside me_

_But you tasted so inviting_

_Should have tried to get to know you_

_Now I'm living in a dream_

 

Jailbreak - Awolnation

 

 

Oswald woke up in the early morning, feeling a heavy weight on his shoulder and hair tickling his collar bone. He opened his eyes.

A feeble light was streaming through the half-closed windows and the bedroom seemed suspended in a blue atmosphere.

Outside the city was already busy and loud, but in that room Oswald felt an eerie calm, as if he were frozen in a block of ice like mammoths, a relic of the world that once was. He didn’t belong out there anymore. He didn’t belong anywhere, anymore.

Oswald looked down at Ed’s head on his shoulder. He didn’t want to wake the other man but he needed to go to the bathroom so he slid away from Ed and waited for his eyes to open.

They didn’t _._

Surprised, Oswald got up from the bed and waited for any reaction at all.

_Nothing._

 

He walked slowly to the bathroom, turned on the lights and looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes instantly flew to the neck, peppered with bruises. His pale skin set a striking contrast with the angry purple of the damaged skin, and it looked even worse under the room’s harsh artificial light.

_This is my chance. I can finally escape._

Oswald kept staring at his reflection while his heart beat frantically.

He swallowed. _Escape, but where? What will I do once I have escaped?_

He used the toilet and then leaned on the doorway to the bedroom, staring at Ed’s sleeping form. It felt as if he was floating out of his body, as if he were merely an observer of his own actions.

 

Oswald dressed in his suit, wore a coat and grabbed a black umbrella to help him walk. He did it all slowly, casting glances at Ed to see if he would wake up, hoping to be caught.

_What am I doing?_

He found the keys still inside the entrance door, turned them and walked out.

He called the elevator and waited, staring blankly ahead. _I could start a new life, find a day job and lie low for a while._

The elevator’s opening sound startled him and the artificial light inside blinded him.

He walked inside blinking the tears away. His blue-green eyes were always so sensitive _._ He went all the way down to the anonymous ground floor and walked out of the building, without realising he was still crying.

 

Gotham’s smells and noises hit him like a train. He spun around, terrified of all that life after his convalescence and isolation. He felt like a child again, his mother always telling him to keep away from strangers, and him trying to explain to her that it was _impossible_ to keep away from the strangers, they came at you from all sides and you were forced to walk pressed up against them.

A car horn blared at his ears and he saw that in the confusion he had accidentally stepped on the edge of the road.

He stepped back on the sidewalk and observed all those angry tired people starting off their day with smoking cigarettes and deep frowns.

 

Trying to stop his thoughts from veering towards murder, Oswald decided to take a walk to the docks nearby, to breathe some air that didn’t taste grey.

He walked close to the water. The river, polluted as it was, always calmed him. Even as a child he used to go there to collect his thoughts, when the bullies at school were too much to bear. He felt cold but didn’t close his coat.

The sunrise was almost over when Oswald realised he was thinking about Ed.

The night they spent together kept replaying in his head, the violence and the pleasure undistinguishable in the memory. Ed’s kind hands that cared for his wound tightening around his throat. The look of almost religious devotion and eager possessiveness in Ed’s burning eyes.

 

‘Shoot me and I will live. Boil me and I will die. What am I? ’

Oswald whipped his head around to find a smiling Ed a few steps behind him.

He hadn’t heard him walk up to him and, for a moment, he could only stare wide-eyed.

Ed didn’t move but his smile faltered, a worried frown making his way to the surface. He cleared his throat.

‘This has always been my favourite place in all of Gotham.’ Ed continued as if they were having a casual chat. ‘Clears my head.’

Oswald suddenly noticed he was still crying, dried tears pulled at his face while new cold ones ran down.

_How long have I been crying?_

He quickly wiped his face with the back of his hand and said ‘It’s my favourite spot, too. I’ve been coming here ever since I was a child.’

‘Strange we didn’t cross paths before, then.’

‘Strange, indeed.’

 

A heavy silence fell over them, Oswald’s mind split in two. One half told him to run for his life, the other half told him to stay forever.

Oswald knew there would never be a middle ground between them, no half measures, no lukewarm feelings.

‘Water,’ Oswald said, walking towards Ed with a hesitant smile on his face.

‘The answer to your riddle is water.’

Ed looked so relieved he could cry, he obviously understood what was really being said. He chuckled breathlessly and fell into step with Oswald, his shoulders visibly releasing the tension.

They headed home in silent agreement.

While they walked back to the apartment Oswald saw the city in a whole different light, the people seemed less unpleasant and the streets less dirty. Ed walked closely by his side, grin from ear to ear, and took Oswald’s hand in his.

Oswald blushed, realising no one had ever held his hand before, apart from his mother. He had got used to almost constant touching with Ed in just a handful of days.

 

Holding hands was such a simple gesture, sweet because completely unnecessary, that it took a moment for Oswald to realise it was also a statement to everyone they crossed paths with, on the street. He smiled.

Soon they were back at Ed’s apartment, and only then Oswald noticed that Ed was still wearing the disheveled clothes he fell asleep in the night before, ripped-open shirt and all. Which was strange since he was always impeccably dressed even inside the house and, in Gotham’s cold winter, he hadn’t even stopped to wear a coat.

 


	8. White Blank Page (Edward)

_Can you lie next to her_

_And give her your heart_

_As well as your body?_

_And can you lie next to her_

_And confess your love_

_As well as your folly?_

_And can you kneel before the king_

_And say I'm clean?_

 

_Tell me now, where was my fault_

_In loving you with my whole heart?_

_A white blank page and a swelling rage_

 

_Lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life_

_Lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life_

 

White Blank Page - Mumford & Sons

 

 

Ed sat down with Oswald to have breakfast, still amazed that he didn’t run away when he had the chance.

Apparently, being intimate with someone made Ed's sleep heavier than pills ever did, because he didn’t notice Oswald slip away in the early morning.

_But my little penguin came back to me, so I could risk going back to work._

Ed cleaned his lips with the tip of the napkin and cleared his throat.

‘I was thinking of going to work today, will you be alright without me?’

Oswald abruptly stopped eating and looked up at Ed.

‘Yes, of course.’ He seemed surprised and, unexpectedly, sad about it.

‘I need to show them I take my day job seriously, especially since Jim suspects I had something to do with Ms Kringle’s disappearance.’

Oswald nodded and looked down at his bowl, playing with his muesli.

‘So how long did you two date before…’ Oswald looked up again, studying Ed’s expression attentively.

Ed smiled and said, ‘A few weeks. I had been courting her for much longer, though.’

Oswald didn’t seem too happy about that, either.

 

Ed suddenly realised he was running late, got up from the table and went to the wardrobe to change quickly into proper clothes. He was surprised to see Oswald following him.

‘Did you love her?’

Ed threw his torn shirt in the trash bin and looked at Oswald.

_Is he being curious or jealous?_

‘I thought I did, at the time. But I knew very little about her and she knew even less about me… the real me, I mean. When she found out I killed her abusive boyfriend she accused me of being a stalker and a psychopath. She said I deserved to go to prison where they would do horrible things to me, things I deserved, in her opinion. She tried to leave me.’

Oswald looked more and more horrified at every word. Then his expression settled onto anger. ’She did not deserve you. If you hadn’t killed her already, I would do it myself.’

Ed stopped hurriedly putting clothes on at that. Oswald looked so protective and fierce in that moment that Ed had no trouble believing him.

 

Oswald suddenly seemed to notice something on Ed’s back. He stepped closer and swatted away Ed’s attempts at pulling down his clean shirt. He traced the marks his fingernails had made on Ed’s pale skin and grimaced at the dry blood that Ed had completely forgotten about.

Oswald went to get some disinfectant and cleaned the broken skin. ‘You’re not flinching. Isn’t it sore?’

Ed smiled and said, ‘I have a very high pain tolerance. I guess I should thank my late father for that.’

Oswald stopped cleaning the wounds and just breathed deeply for a minute. He did notice a lot of old scars along Ed's body. Then he let Ed finish to dress himself, with an unreadable expression on his face.

_Does he really care about me?_

Ed smiled and kissed him gently on the lips. ‘I’ll see you tonight. There is a supermarket down the street, if you need anything. I’ll leave you the keys.’

Oswald watched him go with a kicked puppy expression on his face. Ed really didn’t want to leave him, but he was already late so he grabbed his coat and left without looking back, afraid he would change his mind.

 

He couldn’t focus on work for the entire day, he went from one menial task to another, avoiding anything that required higher brain functions.

Doctor Tompkins asked him some questions about Ms Kringle but he cut it short with a fake teary breakdown. It was Jim he was really worried about, but, for the moment at least, he seemed too caught up in his current investigation to inquire about Ms Kringle.

Oswald called him twice, asking about clogged pipes and spicy mustard, and Ed, although a bit exasperated by his silly problems, was secretly happy Oswald came up with excuses to call. The man quite obviously needed constant love and approval, which Ed was anxious to give.

 

Ed suddenly froze.

_Love._

He had a moment of panic when he remembered the light in Ms Kringle’s eyes fade away. _That was different. Ms Kringle didn’t accept the real me, she didn’t even want to get to know the real me._ Ed’s hands stopped shaking. _Oswald is the only person who doesn’t treat me like a freak. He’s not going to leave me._

He spent the remaining hours of work that day smiling at everyone he crossed paths with, even the ones he knew made fun of him behind his back.

He walked back home feeling scared and happy at the same time, and he opened the door to find a smiling Oswald in the kitchen isle.

‘Welcome back!’

Oswald was evidently cooking something and from the smell of it, burning it a little in the process. He turned around to greet Ed with a smile.

Ed grinned back fondly. It was obvious from his awkward movements that Oswald didn’t have much experience with cooking.

_But he tried anyways, for me._

 

Oswald realised something was burning and turned back to the stove. Ed walked closer and hugged him from behind. Oswald turned off the heat and leaned back into the embrace.

_I want to stay like this forever,  just us two against the rest of the world. Safe in our little bubble of an apartment, safe from the pain and the anger in our souls. What is wrong with that?_

Ed closed his eyes and his smile faded. _But like this my penguin is frozen, locked up, unable to express his true potential._

He turned Oswald around in his arms. _This man was born to be a king, I have to let him go after his crown._

Oswald looked up at him from under his fluffy bangs and lifted himself up on tiptoes to try and kiss him.

In that moment Ed knew he would follow that man to hell and back.

He let himself be kissed and then took a deep breath. ‘I kept you all to myself long enough.’

 

Oswald looked taken aback.

‘But I want to stay here. I thought-‘ He seemed to be holding back tears. ‘I thought that was what you wanted, too.’

Ed realised his mistake and took Oswald’s hands in his own.

‘Of course I do. More than anything. But I can’t be selfish. You have a man to kill and a throne to sit on.’

Oswald swallowed and a single tear fell down his face.

‘You’re avoiding the inevitable. You belong out there, doing what you do best.’

‘And what would that be?’

‘Ruling.’

Oswald sniffled and let out a long breath. ‘I know what I have to do. But to do that I would have to leave-‘

‘Exactly-‘

‘-you.’

 

Ed took a step back. ‘What? But I can come with you and help!’

Oswald took a step forward. ‘Not until I kill Galavan. He already killed my mother, who knows what he would do if he knew about you.’

‘I can defend myself-‘

‘I won’t risk it. I won’t be blackmailed again. I cannot protect you, I need to get back on top first, gather resources.’ He looked immensely sad. ‘If I leave now, we cannot see each other anymore. Not until he’s dead and I can keep you safe.’

Ed felt defeated. He brought up his hand to Oswald’s cheek and left it there, buying some time before the inevitable answer. He wanted to hold him tight and tell him everything would be fine, that they would see each other soon, that nothing bad would happen. But they would be lies.

‘I understand.’

 

They had dinner in silence and went to bed as soon as they finished eating. They stayed awake for a long time, just looking at each other’s faces, as if they were desperately trying to memorise all the details before they had to go their own separate ways. They fell asleep holding hands and woke up in the same position.

Oswald packed his few belongings and dressed slowly. Ed watched the whole thing feeling his heart hang heavy and his mind turn blank.

Everything seemed to happen faster since Oswald had agreed to leave. Time was slipping away like water through his fingers, the more he tried to treasure it, the faster the few hours they had left together went by, rushing them to their goodbyes.

Oswald limped to the door and Ed gave him the black umbrella to use as a walking stick. Ed silently begged Oswald to just go, pleading with his eyes. Oswald hugged him quickly.

‘I’ll come back for you.’

And with that Oswald was gone. The little bird flew away from the nest.

 


	9. 505 (Oswald)

_I'm going back to 505_

_If it's a seven-hour flight or a forty-five-minute drive_

_In my imagination you're waiting, lying on your side_

_With your hands between your thighs_

 

_Stop and wait a sec_

_Oh, when you look at me like that, my darling_

_What did you expect?_

_I'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck_

_Or I did last time I checked_

 

_Not shy of a spark_

_A knife twists at the thought that I should fall short of the mark_

_Frightened by the bite, though, it's no harsher than the bark_

_Middle of adventure, such a perfect place to start_

 

505 - Arctic Monkeys

 

 

It took Oswald months to keep his promise.

Killing Galavan proved harder than expected, Gotham was becoming a place for the impossible to happen, and Oswald missed Ed terribly. He couldn’t keep away completely and visited him a few times. The first time he visited Ed at his apartment, after being released from Arkham, Ed told him he had brought lilies to his mother's grave as promised while Oswald was locked up, but then they had a bad fight about the morality of killing. Oswald wasn't himself at the time.

Then he met his long-lost father and before he could get used to him, he lost him again. His true identity came back to him when he started killing again and he finally took back his rightful place in the criminal underworld. Trying his best to forget the time spent in Arkham for Galavan’s murder, to cover for an ungrateful Jim, he focused his energy on building a stable empire.

 

He started visiting Ed at Arkham more regularly. Ed encouraged him and made him an origami penguin that Oswald kept on his nightstand.

In the meantime he gathered enough men and influence to break Ed out of that dreadful place, always keeping the right amount of distance in public, not to attract any unwanted attention from his numerous enemies. Ed was vulnerable while locked up in Arkham.

Now he had enough money and influence at his disposal to get Ed out and protect him, hoping that soon he would become mayor and have both cities at his feet.

He fell asleep every night looking at his paper penguin, it made him feel safe, and waited patiently for the right moment to strike.

He found the opportunity when a new director took over Arkham Asylum, an easy man to intimidate. He got him to sign a Sane Certificate for Ed, like the one Strange signed for him.

 

The night Ed was supposed to be released, Oswald found himself rigidly sitting on the couch, thinking about all that had happened in the months apart, waiting for the clock to strike the time to go. Time to take Ed home.

Roger, the driver, informed him that it was time to go and Oswald jumped up, unexpectedly nervous. While walking to the limousine, he tried to calm down his furiously beating heart, but to no avail.

_What am I so nervous about? This is what I have been waiting for all this time._

He sat in the backseat and looked out through the dark window. Somehow, Gotham always looked like it was raining, even when it wasn’t. Oswald had always liked rain.

 

He took a deep breath but his heart kept hammering. Maybe he was nervous because it had been such a long time since they last talked as free men. _What if my sweet enigmatic friend has moved on from our initial… intimacy?_

Oswald shook his head in an attempt to clear it and rehearsed in his mind what to say one more time. _Ed, do you still want to help me_ _build my kingdom? You are more than welcome to move in, at the Manor, but you don’t have to if you prefer to go back to your old apartment._

 

Oswald’s heart skipped a beat when he felt the car stop. He looked out the window and saw that they were in front of the Arkham gates.

Ed was already there, a piece of paper in his hand and a confused expression on his face. When he saw Oswald's car he smiled and said something to the director standing on the other side of the gates. Oswald pulled down the window and Ed turned back to him, with the sweetest look on his face.

That was when Oswald realised there was nothing to fear. That was _his_ Ed.

Oswald couldn’t wait for the entire window to slide down so he slipped out his head and smiled from ear to ear. ‘Hello, old friend.’

Ed walked to the limousine and sat down in the backseat in front of Oswald's, still smiling.

‘Hello, Oswald.’

 

They just stared at each other for a moment while the car started moving away from the gates, and Oswald tried to hold back tears of joy. _Finally there’s nothing left between us, no prisons, no threats, no brainwashing… just us._

 _‘_ I’m sorry it took me so long.’

‘You can ask for it but it can only be given spontaneously. You can hear it but it doesn’t need to be spoken. What am I?’

Oswald huffed affectionately.

Ed laughed. ‘The answer is gratitude. You never cease to amaze me, Oswald.’

Oswald looked down, blushing.

‘Tell me what happened, I want to know everything we couldn’t talk about until now. What did I miss?’

 

They spent the rest of the car ride catching up and Ed seemed thrilled at the idea of helping Oswald run for mayor.

They arrived at the Manor and walked to the entrance. Ed’s eyes went wide.

‘This place is amazing!’

When they went inside he added, ‘Your father had excellent taste, Oswald.’

Oswald beamed at that but then looked sadly around. ‘If only he could be here with us…’

Ed took his hand and squeezed it tight.

Oswald shook his head and tried to smile. ’You’re welcome to stay here if you like, otherwise I’ll have Roger drive you to your apartment.’

He tried to keep his face neutral, hiding his desperate need for help in the stress of everyday life as a crime lord _and_ as a benevolent public persona.

_With Ed here I wouldn’t have to worry about him being kidnapped or hurt..._

In the chaotic dark spiral of his thoughts, Oswald had missed Ed’s answer.

‘I’m sorry, could you say that again?’

Ed laughed. ‘I said, I want to stay.’

 

Seeing the pure unadulterated affection in Ed’s tired eyes made his heart melt. _Who knew that, after all these years of hardening, my heart could still melt?_

Oswald smiled and made his way upstairs.

‘Very well, then. I’ll show you to one of the guest rooms upstairs, please follow-‘

‘Guest room?’

Oswald turned around to face Ed halfway up the stairs, who had stopped on the lower steps.

‘Yes, you have plenty of guest rooms to choose from.’

Oswald did his best to seem fine with the idea of sleeping apart.

_I shouldn't push him, he just got out of prison, he probably needs space._

Ed followed Oswald to the guest rooms and chose the one closest to his. Oswald gave him freshly washed towels and ironed pyjamas. Then he wished him good night, hoping he had made the right choice.

 

Oswald went to his own room and changed. When he came out of the bathroom he realised he had unconsciously hoped to see Ed waiting for him, but his room was as empty as it had always been. He sighed and laid down under the sheets.

He stayed awake for hours, trying to convince his body to rest and ignore Ed’s presence across the hall. _Ed’s hands around my neck-_ Oswald violently turned in his bed and forced his eyes closed. _Ed has just come out of a prison for the mentally insane, he needs time to adjust. They mistreated him, left him no privacy in there. I can’t be selfish with him, my own desire can wait… I had never even felt it before Ed came along._

His mother’s evident distaste of Oswald’s non-existent love life had never bothered him much. No one had ever caught his eye, so his feelings towards Ed still confused him.

 

How frustrating it was, being aware of Ed’s presence across the hall without hearing or seeing him. Just his _being there_ was enough to drive him insane.

Oswald’s sharp intake of breath broke the silence in the dark room.

_Insane._

The moon shone through the curtains and made him see strange shadows on the wall.

Suddenly Oswald heard a muffled cry from the other bedroom. Fear shot through him like a knife, deep into his lungs, and he jumped up from the bed throwing his bedsheets on the floor. His bad leg made him stumble on the way but he made it across the hall and barged into Ed’s improvised room brandishing a chandelier as his only weapon.

_Victor, I need to call Victor-_

The lights suddenly came on and Oswald saw Ed standing next to the light switch, a hand covering his face. He was shaking.

 

‘I’m so sorry, Oswald, I-‘

Seeing no threat, Oswald rushed towards Ed.

‘Are you hurt? Was someone in here? How did they even pass by security? _I swear to God_ -‘

Ed brought his hands up in a gesture that could have been a stop, or a plea, depending on how you looked at it. ‘There’s no one here, just me. Me… and my demons.’

Oswald dropped the chandelier on the floor and closed his eyes.

‘I’m very sorry if I woke-‘ Ed was interrupted by Oswald throwing himself at him in a forceful embrace.

‘I am so happy you are alright. I was so scared! I thought someone was trying to kidnap you and I was ready to call Victor…’ The rest of Oswald’s rant was muffled by his own tears and Ed’s neck.

 

They stayed like that for a while, until Ed hugged him back and seemed to hold on for dear life.

Oswald asked, ‘Was it a nightmare?’

Ed stiffened a bit in the embrace. ‘Sort of.’

A moment of silence.

‘Was it… the other you?’

Ed’s silence spoke volumes.

‘Do you-‘ Oswald cleared his throat and tried again, ‘Do you want to talk about it?’

Oswald felt Ed’s heart beating like a hammer against his chest, their bodies still pressed together in the embrace.

‘No, I don’t want to talk about it…’

 

Oswald nodded and let go of Ed.

‘Then why don’t you try to get some sleep? I’ll stay here, if that means _he_ leaves you alone.’

Ed looked like he was hiding something.

‘Or I can leave, if-‘

‘NO!’

Oswald took a step back, startled by the sudden yelling, but he saw only panic in Ed’s eyes. _Did something happen in Arkham? Or is this about something else?_

Oswald gave him his sweetest smile, trying to radiate calm.

‘Alright, I’ll stay then.’

 

While Oswald picked up the dropped chandelier and put it back on the closest surface, Ed slid back under the sheets and made room for him.

Oswald turned back and stared for a second longer than necessary. Ed was keeping the blanket lifted up with one hand.

Trying not to hurry, he joined Ed under the sheets with a nervous chuckle, turning the light off first.

The room drowned in darkness but Oswald’s eyes had Ed’s face printed on them for a while. The leftover light impression faded away after a while but Oswald kept looking at the black space where Ed was for a long time after that.

Somehow, he knew Ed was staring back.

 


	10. Sway (Edward)

_Say whatever you have to say_

_I'll stand by you_

_And do whatever you have to do_

_To get it out and not become_

_A reactionary to hurt_

_The ones you love_

_I know you never meant to but you do_

_Oh, yeah, you do_

 

_Still I need your sway_

_Cause you always pay for it_

_And I, and I need your soul_

_Cause you're always soulful_

_And I, and I need your heart_

_Cause it's always in the right places_

 

_And take whatever you have to take_

_You know I love you_

_And come however you have to come_

_and get it out, get it out_

_Take it out on me_

_Take it out on me_

_I'd give it to you, all_

_Yes, I will give it to you, all_

 

Sway - The Kooks

 

 

‘It's Election Day in Gotham, with former mayor Aubrey James and former criminal kingpin Oswald Cobblepot running toe to toe-’

Ed stopped listening to the TV and focused on the scene around him. Everyone was getting busy, crowding Oswald’s living room with colourful papers and banners. Oswald’s campaign as new mayor of Gotham was running at full force, it seemed.

Out of the corner of his eye, Ed noticed Butch giving something to a couple of guests, with a smug look on his face.

‘I must say, you are looking quite the dapper fellow.’

_Oswald._

Ed turned around with a smile to see the Penguin in his natural habitat: classy suits.

Oswald chuckled but his smile suddenly wavered. ‘I had to guess on the jacket size. I hope it fits.’

Being a fan of suits himself, Ed had noticed Oswald’s excellent taste and strangely accurate measurements.

‘Perfectly! I cannot thank you enough!’

Ed was so happy to be out of Arkham, and with Oswald of all people, that he had trouble controlling his enthusiasm.

 

‘It's just a suit.’ Oswald chuckled nervously again.

‘No. No, if it weren't for you, I would still be falling asleep to the screams of the insane.’

‘It becomes almost a white noise after a while, doesn't it?’ Oswald looked sympathetic.

‘It does.’

Ed tried to take courage and steer the conversation a bit, he wanted to talk about the night before. They slept next to each other without touching and he wanted to know what that meant for… whatever their relationship was.

‘Thank you for last night, Oswald. After Arkham, I needed-‘

‘I couldn't agree more.’ Oswald interrupted him to point at something on the table, behind him.

‘Which is why I had our release certificates framed.’

Ed gasped.

‘A reminder of past struggles and new beginnings’, Oswald said proudly.

_He's so sweet._

‘If I didn't know better, I'd accuse you of being a sentimentalist.’

Oswald laughed. ‘Guilty!’

Ed tried to gauge his reaction.

_Sweet but hard to read._

 

‘You all set, boss? Busy day today.’

Butch appeared out of nowhere, seemingly irritated by Ed’s presence.

 _Just like an eager lap dog._ He reminded Ed of the bullies who used to beat him up at school, all muscles and no brain. They always ended up dating whoever Ed fancied.

‘Who were those people you were speaking with?’, Ed heard himself ask.

Butch looked surprised, as if he didn’t expect Ed to have eyes. Or a voice, for that matter.

‘Don't worry about it.’

Oswald admonished him, ‘Come now, Butch. Play nice. We're all on the same team here. Right?’ Oswald giggled. ‘ _My_ team.’

‘Yeah. Sure. Whatever you say.’ Butch didn’t sound convinced.

As soon as Oswald walked away, he added, ‘You keep your nose out of my business.’

Butch turned around as if he took it for granted that his threat was sufficient to keep Ed at bay.

_It will take a lot more than that to keep me from protecting my little penguin from the people he trusts._

Ed repeated Butch’s words, _’_ Yeah. Sure. Whatever you say.’

_You’re going down._

 

Later on Oswald held a public speech in the conference room of the town hall.

‘My beloved mother always believed in me. Even when I doubted myself, she held firm. Seeing all of your bright faces reminds me that there is nothing you cannot do, if you put your mind to it.’

In the distance, Ed saw Butch giving a man from the election board an envelope.

_Oh._

‘And when I am mayor, I believe- No. I _know_ , that together we will make Gotham safe again!’

Ed made his way through the cheering crowd and reached the man with the envelope.

_I have to make sure._

‘Excuse me.’

The man turned to him, suspicious. Ed smiled reassuringly.

‘Are you on the election board?’

‘Yeah.’

‘I work for Mr. Cobblepot. He just wanted me to confirm what Butch gave you. May I? Thank you.’ He took the envelope without waiting for an answer and pretended to count the money.

_Damn it, Butch. No wonder Oswald has such a low self-esteem if these are the people he surrounds himself with._

‘It's all there. Thank you.’

 

Ed already had a plan forming in his mind. He found the cutest kid in the conference room, a little girl called Clarice, and told her to compliment Oswald in exchange for twenty bucks, and afterwards she had to ask for the money in front of him. Then he went to find Oswald.

‘I assume you know Butch is paying campaign officials to buy the election?’

Oswald smiled. ‘You don't approve?’

They both chuckled.

‘My dear Ed, this is Gotham. This is how things are done.’

Ed conceded, ‘And in theory, I support that. But, Oswald, do you see how these people are cheering for you?’

_He can’t be that blind._

‘Yes, they do seem very excited.’ Oswald looked hesitant.

‘You can win this on your own.’

’Why risk it? There is no upside. I want this, Ed. I need it.’

_Apparently he can._

’I know. Which is why you need to call off Butch.’

 

Clarice finally arrived. ‘Mr Penguin?’

‘Hello, there.’ Oswald turned to her, smiling.

‘I wanted to thank you for getting rid of all the monsters.’

Oswald chuckled softly and turned to Ed. ‘Do you see? People look at me differently now. For the first time in my life, I feel needed.’

The little girl outstretched her hand to take the money Ed was already handing to her.

She smiled and walked away. ’Nice doing business with you.’

Ed felt awful but tried to remind himself it was for Oswald’s own good.

‘And how do you feel now?’

‘I feel like I've misjudged someone who was supposed to be my friend.’

Ed’s face lost all colour. ‘I am your friend.’

Ed’s mind panicked and switched on automatic, supplying him with the only way out he knew: riddles. ‘I can't be bought, but I can be stolen with a glance.’ He drew a heart shape in the air with his fingertips. ‘I'm worthless to one, but priceless to two. What am I?’

 _Was that an explanation or a declaration?_ Not even Ed was sure anymore.

Oswald seemed to have had enough, though. ‘I don't care. I do not need a stupid riddle right now. I know what I want. I want to be mayor. Stay out of it, Ed. I'm warning you.’

He seemed hurt, before storming off.

_Oh dear._

 

‘Eddieeeee!’

_Not now, please._

_‘_ Please? I stopped listening to your pleads when we were 9.’

The other Ed appeared to kick him when he was down, as always.

Ed ran into the closest empty room and locked the door.

‘Didn’t you have enough fun with me last night?’

‘There is no such thing as enough fun’, the other Ed declared happily.

‘And it got us what we wanted, didn’t it?’ A wide grin spread across his face.

‘We had Oswald in our bed! But you moron had to spoil it by being such a _gentleman_ , like always, our father would be _so proud_!’ The other Ed spat.

‘Our little penguin is slipping away. We have to do something about it.’

Ed rubbed his temples, hands shaking. ‘I don’t know what I did wrong, I was just trying to show him-‘

‘Well, maybe you need a more _drastic_ approach, don’t you think?’

Ed blinked and looked up. ‘Of course. The only solution is to take the matter into our own hands.’ He straightened his back, a new resolution shining in his eyes. He was almost out the door when his own voice stopped him.

‘He doesn’t touch us anymore, Eddie.’

The other Ed sounded… scared. Ed had never seen him scared before.

‘Fix it, and fix it fast.’

And with that, he was gone.

 

That night Ed made it back to the Manor just in time for the TV announcement of the election results. He had to drive to more than twenty houses around all of Gotham, taking back the money Butch gave away.

Oswald approached Ed in the living room full of people, with an apologetic look in his eyes. ‘This is it. The moment I've been waiting for.’

‘Indeed.’ Ed smiled.

Oswald averted his eyes. ‘Listen, I’m sorry for-‘

‘You!’ Butch barked from across the room. In a few strides, he had Ed by the collar, a wild look in his eyes. ‘You, you ruined everything!’

Oswald panicked. ‘Butch, release him this instant! What is going on?!’

Butch seemed to enjoy the situation. ‘I'll tell you what's going on. He just cost you the election! He went to every district official and took the money back. Said you wanted to run a clean election.’

Ed grasped at his collar, trying to breathe.

Oswald stuttered, ‘Tell me this is not true.’

‘I'm afraid Butch is right. For once.’

Butch tightened his grasp.

 

After a long second of silence, Oswald growled, ‘Why? After everything I've done for you.’ His voice broke and he looked crestfallen. ‘Everything we could've done together! You _betrayed_ me.’

His eyes took on a dangerous light. ‘Butch!’

The crowd gasped when Butch took out his gun and pointed it at Ed, leaving his collar.

‘Give me one reason why I shouldn't let Butch kill you where you stand!’

_Come on, how long does this announcement take? I’m running out of time! I just need a bit more time!_

‘Well, there are about thirty witnesses-‘

‘I don't care!’

The crowd on the TV cheered.

_Finally._

‘And there's _that_.’

 

Ed knew the results, even before the woman on the TV informed the people in the room that ‘former underworld kingpin Oswald Cobblepot has won the mayor's office by a landslide’.

The crowd in the room started cheering, too, but Oswald shushed them, tears in his eyes. ‘I still won.’

Ed sighed in relief at the timing.

’They really want me as mayor.’

‘Yes.’ Ed put in that small word as much affection as he could muster at gunpoint.

Oswald stumbled towards Ed. ’I can't be bought, but I can be stolen with one glance.’

Ed smiled happily and drew another heart in the air, not even caring about how obvious he looked in front of that awful Gilzean. Oswald continued, looking dazed, ’I’m worthless to one, but priceless to two.’

He swatted away Butch’s gun and whispered, ‘Love.’

 

In the background, there was chanting from the TV, ‘Cobblepot! Cobblepot!’

Oswald quickly glanced back and huffed out a broken laugh.

He said to Ed, ‘They love me.’

_Of course they do. Who wouldn't?_

‘If you would've bought the election, you would've never known.’ Ed felt the need to explain. ‘But now you do.’

Oswald choked on a laugh and Ed grinned. ‘Feels good, doesn't it?’

‘How did you know I would win?’

‘I believe in you, Oswald. Even when you don't believe in yourself.’

Oswald sniffled and suddenly turned to Butch. ‘You.’

Ed failed to hide a smile.

‘You never believed I could win this election on my own! I think maybe you're not cut out for this after all.’

Ed had never heard Oswald sound so offended.

Butch looked flabbergasted. ’What?! You got to be kidding me. This guy-‘

‘Don't worry,’ spat Oswald. ‘I still need someone to crack skulls.’

Oswald turned back to Ed, beaming. ‘Come, Ed. We have plans to make.’

 

Later that evening, Oswald surprised everyone by appointing Ed as his chief of staff and, even later that night, he surprised Ed by asking him to sleep in the master bedroom with him.

 


	11. I’ll Drown (Oswald)

_He's alone in his house out there_

_Far far away_

_He sleeps with his eyes open_

_He was so sad last night_

_In his house out there_

_He took my hand and whispered…_

 

_And life is so sad in this house out there_

_His window's alright_

_His garden is wonderful_

_But this waterfall, salt tears come from him_

_He will fill his house_

_He takes my hand and whispers:_

_I'll drown when I see you_

_I'll drown when I see you_

 

_These tears run so fast in his house out there, he tried to get out_

_His house took our hands and smiled_

_You'll never escape from this sad sad house_

_I take his hand_

_We sink_

 

I’ll Drown - Sóley

 

 

In the weeks after the election, Oswald and Ed were so busy they barely had time to sleep at all.

Whenever Oswald tried to bring up their relationship, it seemed there was always a member of staff around the corner to interrupt them. Ed took up residence in Oswald’s master bedroom and, between both day time and night time kind of events, they at least got to pass out for a few hours of sleep, cuddled up together.

Oswald treasured those private moments that gave him strength. The parades were almost as exhausting as crime lords fighting over the smallest disagreement, and Oswald found it hard to fit the new mayoral duties in his already quite busy schedule as crime head of Gotham.

Luckily, he could count on Ed’s organisational skills. That amazing man was the only thing keeping his life together.

 

Thinking about all of this, Oswald stared at his mother’s statue in the living room.

_What would she think of me now?_

‘There's something I've been wanting to ask you. Am I a good boy? Have I made you proud?’

He sighed. Up to that day, he still wasn’t sure of his mother’s real opinion on his criminal activities. He never had the courage to tell her.

‘I hope I'm not interrupting.’

Ed’s voice brought him back to reality. ‘Oh, Ed, you never met my mother.’

Oswald wiped away a silent tear. _’_ Wasn’t she beautiful?’

‘A fine figure of a woman.’

‘She was my whole world. The only one who was always there for me.’

 

‘Well, I believe the answer is yes.’

Oswald turned his head around to look at Ed, feeling insecure.

‘She would be proud.’ Ed’s voice was adamant.

Oswald smiled. ‘Do you really think so?’

‘Oswald, look at everything you've achieved. The people love you. Gangs fear you. And tomorrow night, the crème of Gotham will be gathering to celebrate _you_. What more could someone ask for?’ Ed sounded so proud.

_I got what I’ve always wanted, but there’s something missing. This house is too big, built for a_ _large family..._

‘Someone to share it with.’

Ed looked at him curiously, but in that moment they were interrupted by Roger.

‘Mr Cobblepot? We need to leave.’

 

Oswald had a public speech to give so they went to the press, bringing the statue, but in the middle of the event the Red Hood Gang arrived, guns blazing. They beheaded his statue.

It all happened so fast and he was filled with such rage that the day went by in a bit of a red blur. He sent Ed to the GCPD to check what those morons were doing about the new threat and sent every crime lord in the city after the Gang. He had his mother’s broken statue brought back to the Mansion.

‘ _Anything for you, my little Cobble Pot, you can count on me.’_ How many times he had heard his mother say those words to him.

_Now she’s gone and I’ll never hear those words again._

Oswald started drinking bourbon in front of the fire, looking around at the Manor his father lived in before him. Before he died, too.

_I am alone. Alone on top of a great empire, hidden behind these castle walls._

 

He sniffled and finished his glass. _Jim hates me and Butch doesn’t believe in me. Ed might just be my only friend. Whatever I do, I cannot afford to lose him._

The image of a ripped shirt and Ed’s hands around his throat flooded Oswald’s mind. His impossibly sweet smile. The time he yelled, _’SHUT UP!’_ at his hallucinations.

Ironically, Ed chose that moment to come back to the Manor.

‘Oswald?’

‘In here!’

Ed walked into the living room, a serious expression on his face.

‘The police doesn’t have any leads so I took some lab results home to analyse myself.’

He put a huge amount of paper on the table and started doing just that.

_Home. He thinks of the Manor as his home._

 

Oswald shook his head to clear it. _I have more pressing matters at hand._ He started walking back and forward, thinking about the Red Hood Gang _._

After a few minutes he realised he was talking out loud.

’Someone is testing me, Ed. They're thinking, ‘Oh, he's mayor now. He has to play by different rules.’’ He took another sip from his glass.

‘No, they'll see, when I'm roasting their entrails over a fire!’

Ed suddenly lifted his head. ‘Perhaps I'm thinking about this all wrong.’ Oswald stopped his pacing.

‘Perhaps this is not about you at all. What if this is about the _statue_?’

‘Of course it's about me!’

Oswald forgot he was holding a glass and accidentally spilled wine over his sleeve.

‘Yes, you're probably right.’ Ed didn’t seem put off by the outburst, and when he noticed Oswald’s wet sleeve he got up immediately. ’Oh, dear.’

‘Wonderful,’ Oswald spat.

 

Ed wet a napkin and took the salt shaker from the table.

’Oswald. Take a breath.’

Ed took Oswald’s wrist and started shaking the salt.

’What are you doing?’

‘It's an old trick I learned in the lab.’ Ed dabbed the sleeve with the wet napkin.

_He always cleans up my messes._

‘Most solvents have as their base-‘ Ed suddenly stopped talking.

‘I am the son of water, but when water touches me, I die. What am I?’

Oswald huffed. _’_ Not now, Ed.’

‘Salt. Most people think of it as a food additive, but potassium salt is found in detergents, soaps-‘

‘ _What_ is your point?’

Ed’s grin was downright _illegal_ and took Oswald by surprise. ’I know where the Red Hoods are. They are in a detergent factory in the Narrows.’

Oswald was impressed. ‘Alright, then let’s go.’

 

While Ed was getting ready to leave, Oswald asked Victor to come and called Butch, then they got into the car. Roger was a former rallying champion, Oswald had chosen him well, and he drove them there in no time.

When they entered the building, everyone was already dead, Butch towering over them.

That was the last thing Oswald had expected.

‘I did it, boss. I got them for you.’

He looked hopeful, like a child expecting to be praised.

_Ed might not be my only friend, after all._

An hour later, Oswald invited the press to the Manor to publicly announce the Red Hood Gang was no more, thanks to Butch.

 

Later on that evening, he smiled to everyone who came to his party at the Sirens and, after a strange talk with Bruce Wayne, he started letting go of the tension. The Red Hood Gang was history and apparently his people were more loyal to him than he had given them credit for. Even Barbara seemed to be having fun.

He lost sight of Ed and found himself alone in the crowd, suddenly aware that all those people he welcomed meant _absolutely nothing_ to him. He needed to talk to Ed as soon as possible.

_This is my life now, isn’t it? There will never be a quiet moment and he’s the only one making this bearable. If I don’t tell him now, who knows when my next chance will be?_

He was scared but he gulped down one more drink and gathered all of his courage. But it seemed Ed had vanished into thin air and, at the end of the evening, Oswald was starting to worry. He was halfway through a bowl of crisps when Barbara walked on stage and took the microphone.

‘Ladies, gentlemen, welcome to The Sirens! Tonight we're here to celebrate the Honourable Mayor Cobblepot, our saviour from the monsters, and the captain of our fair city. And now, the mayor would like to say a few words.’

She invited him on stage and, while the people around him cheered and applauded, Ed came out of nowhere and grabbed his arm.

‘Ed, where have you been? I've been looking for you all evening.’

Oswald couldn’t help feeling relieved that he was alright, though.

Ed brushed his comment aside. ‘Oh, just tying up loose ends.’

Ed suddenly moved so close to Oswald that they shared the same air.

‘I just wanted to say, good luck.’ Ed’s eyes were burning.

‘Okay.’ Oswald smiled, flustered. ‘Thank you.’

 

He walked to the stage, kissed Barbara on the cheek and thanked her. Then he cleared his throat and took the microphone.

‘Tonight is a celebration, not of my victory, but of Gotham’s.’ He smiled. ‘This is a new day!’

Gunshots suddenly echoed in the room and the crowd gasped. Glass shattered and Oswald stumbled over his own feet, startled.

‘I wouldn't celebrate yet, Mr Mayor. Red Hoods ain't finished yet.’

The man who spoke wore a familiar-looking suit and the Red Hood mask. He had a gun pointed at Oswald.

Oswald tried to get off the stage but Ed, suddenly at his side, kept him firmly in place.

‘Ed! What are you doing?!’

Oswald’s heart was racing and he didn’t know what to think when Ed yelled, ‘Wait!’ and the masked man said, ‘Sorry, boss.’

_No no no._

‘Butch?!’

Butch fired the gun and the crowd screamed.

 

Oswald felt nothing, though. He checked himself for injuries but he seemed to be fine. _What the-_

Ed’s grin was bigger than Oswald had ever seen it. He laughed wholeheartedly and held Oswald tightly. ’Oops.’

Victor restrained Butch and grinned at Oswald.

Ed made sure Oswald could stand on his own legs and then took the microphone.

‘The mayor-‘ Ed put a hand on Oswald’s shoulder. ‘ _Our mayor_ vowed that all of the Red Hoods would be destroyed. And now we have the real leader caught red… handed.’

Ed jumped off the stage and grabbed Butch’s shoulder.

‘You really thought I'd give you real bullets? You _are_ an idiot!’ And with that he slipped the mask off of Butch’s head.

Oswald felt a cold resolution take hold of him. He didn’t understand everything that was going on but he was sure of one thing.

‘I will kill you for this!’

 

Oswald stepped off the stage and walked up to Butch.

‘After all that I've done for you! I gave you a job-’

‘I gave you everything! I used to be _somebody_ in this town, then you and that snivelling little son of a-‘

Oswald saw red and slapped him in the face. ‘Shut up!’

Butch groaned while Barbara laughed in the background.

Oswald was panting by then but he managed to get back on stage.

‘I am shocked and grieved that one of my dearest friends has betrayed me. But let it be known that Oswald Cobblepot will prosecute anyone who threatens Gotham!’

Barbara held up a bottle of champagne. ‘Hear, hear!’

The crowd cheered.

Victor pushed a groaning Butch up on his feet. ‘Upsy-daisy!’

 

Seemingly out of nowhere, Tabitha appeared with a knife in the back of one of Oswald’s men.

Oswald had a flashback of that same situation but with his mother.

‘Oh, my God.’

Butch pushed off Victor with his whole weight and smiled. ‘Showtime!’

More glass shattered and Ed, still in front of the stage, positioned himself in front of Oswald. ‘Oswald, _move_!’

Butch jumped on Ed and started crushing his neck with his metal hand, landing on the stage. ‘I'm gonna enjoy this!’

Oswald’s mind short-circuited, he felt powerless.

_I have to do something._

‘Best. Party. Ever.’ Barbara was as insensitive as always.

Oswald got an idea. _She still has the champagne bottle._

Oswald took the glass bottle from her hand and smashed it with all his strength on the back of Butch’s head. He pushed away Butch’s unconscious body and dropped to the floor next to Ed.

‘Ed! Ed! Ed!’ Oswald’s hands were running all over Ed’s face, as if they could caress him awake. Every emotion Oswald had felt until that moment dwarfed in comparison to the panic he felt in his bones.

‘Ed!’

Ed gasped and coughed, opening his eyes.

Oswald stopped using words, his speech turning into gibberish. He held up Ed’s face with both of his hands, crying.

Ed smiled up at him.

 

When Oswald’s mind finally reverted to coherent thought, he told Victor to give Butch to the cops. He wanted nothing to do with that traitor so he could take Ed back to the Mansion in peace.

At home he brought Ed the most comfortable robe he had and left him on the couch while he went to the kitchen to make tea.

When he came back Ed was staring into the fire.

He coughed a lot but took his tea, smiling.

Oswald sat down next to him. ’It's ginger tea with honey. It's my mother's remedy for a sore throat.’

 _Now it’s my turn to take care of you_.

‘You’re sure you don't need a doctor?’

Ed drank his tea, still smiling. ’No, I'm fine.’

 

He sipped and coughed again, less this time.

‘I still don't understand why you didn't tell me what you were doing.’

Ed put down the teacup. ‘Your shock when seeing Butch had to be genuine. The people had to believe it, and they did. And once again, you're the city's hero.’

He made a sound somewhere between a chuckle and a cough.

‘You were almost killed.’

‘And you saved me. Again.’ Ed swallowed. ‘I hope you know, Oswald, I would do anything for you.’

_‘Anything for you, my little Cobble Pot.’_

‘You can always count on me.’

_‘You can count on me.’_

Oswald’s heart was beating so fast it was probably bruising his chest.

He hugged Ed for a long time, careful not to press on his neck.

_He’s the one._

 

Oswald helped him up to the master bedroom and said he would sleep in Ed’s old guest room, so that Ed could rest properly without Oswald taking up all the space, as usual. Ed tried to protest but Oswald insisted he should have the whole bed to himself.

Ed deserved the best bed in the house.

Oswald left in a rush, walked into his father’s old room and found the jewellery box they had talked about a few days before he passed away.

_There you are._

Oswald found what he was looking for and held it up into the light: the engagement ring his father never got to give to his mother.

The side gems were green, just like his father had told him.

_It’s perfect for him._

Oswald took the diamond ring back to Ed’s old guest room and put it on the nightstand.

_Ed is the one I want to share my empire with. My parents would have been so proud of me._

 

He slipped under the sheets thinking of his mother’s precious advice. _‘Life only gives you one true love, Oswald. When you find it, run to it.’_

Only now Oswald understood what she was talking about.

The last thing he thought of before falling asleep was Ed’s face when he would give him the ring, in the morning, hoping he would say yes.

 


	12. Little Lion Man (Edward)

_Weep for yourself, my man_

_You'll never be what is in your heart_

_Weep, little lion man_

_You're not as brave as you were at the start_

_Rate yourself and rake yourself_

_Take all the courage you have left_

_Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head_

 

_But it was not your fault but mine_

_And it was your heart on the line_

_I really fucked it up this time_

_Didn't I, my dear?_

_Didn't I, my dear?_

 

_Tremble for yourself, my man_

_You know that you have seen this all before_

_Tremble, little lion man_

_You'll never settle any of your scores_

_Your grace is wasted in your face_

_Your boldness stands alone among the wreck_

 

Little Lion Man - Mumford & Sons

 

 

The next morning, Ed couldn’t find the strength to get out of bed.

He had laid awake for the entire night. His chest felt empty and strangely the other Ed hadn't showed up. His throat was still burning but he barely felt it.

 _‘Get some rest. I’ll be right across the hall if you need me.’_ And with that, Oswald had stormed off.

They never slept apart since they had found each other again.

_What did I do wrong?_

Ed tossed and turned, panic rising in his chest.

_Maybe I shouldn’t have been so honest. ‘Anything for you’, what was I thinking? He knows the intensity of my feelings for him now and I scared him off._

 

At around 10am, Ed still hadn’t moved from the bed. _Maybe he wants to be just friends but doesn’t know how to say it. He succumbed to my advances only when he was weak and confused. Or drugged._

Ed forced his eyes shut.

 _No, I never took advantage of him while he was drugged!_ But the picture of him cuddling up to Oswald while he was sleeping off his drugs barrelled into his mind, unwanted.

Ed suddenly threw the sheets off of him and stood up.

_Well, if a friend is what he wants, that’s what I’ll be. I’ll be the best friend he’s ever had._

Ed looked at the alarm clock next to the bed and saw it was half past ten.

 _Shit_.

He got dressed in a hurry and ran downstairs. He decided to skip breakfast and started organising Oswald’s commitments, piling them up while calling the police only to find out Butch had escaped.

 _Damn it_.

He called all the contacts he had to find out where he could be but came up empty-handed.

 

That’s when Oswald showed up in the living room.

‘Ed.’

Ed didn’t dare look up. ’Just a moment.’

He handed some things to Janice, the secretary. ‘These go directly to the city clerk's office. And this, leave this outside Nicky the Nail's place. Knock twice. Light it and then run.’

She took all the documents and the box, looking mildly alarmed. ‘Okay.’

Ed finally faced Oswald. ’Good morning, Mayor Cobblepot.’

‘Good morning to you, my chief of staff.’

Ed still tried not to look at him directly in the eye, he didn’t trust himself yet.

‘Here are your schedules for the day.’ Ed thrust a pile of papers in Oswald’s direction. ’This covers your duties as mayor, and this-’ he thrust a second pile to him, ‘-as kingpin of the underworld.’

‘You really are settling into your role here, aren't you, Ed?’

_Please don’t send me away._

‘And yet I still have so much to learn from you.’ Ed managed a small smile.

 

Oswald looked away and seemed flustered.

They both cleared their throats at the same time and Ed gathered his courage.

‘I… came up empty tracking down Butch. Somehow that one-handed ape managed to disappear. I suspect he's hiding with his old crew.’

Oswald just nodded.

_Please don’t send me away._

‘I'm sorry for letting you down.’

Oswald looked up, surprised. ‘You have done nothing of the sort. I would be _lost_ without you.’

Ed smiled, glad that at least his contribution as chief of staff was needed.

‘In fact… there is something that I need to tell you.’ Oswald’s voice sounded hesitant.

Ed steeled himself for an outright rejection.

‘Something _very_ important.’

 

But Oswald seemed stuck, petrified with fear.

’What is it, Oswald?’

After a few agonising seconds, opening and closing his mouth with no sound escaping, Oswald laughed.

‘You know what? I forget!’

Ed remained very still, eyes wide, not believing Oswald for one second.

_He doesn’t know how to say it._

Oswald kept laughing nervously. ‘In and out of my head, just like that. Don't you hate it when that happens?'

Ed felt out of breath. ‘That never happens to me.’

Oswald chuckled. ‘You know what? I believe that.’

‘Oswald.’

The laughing stopped.

‘Tell me the truth.’

 

Oswald turned serious and sighed. ‘You’re right, I’m sorry. I’m such a coward.’

Ed’s heart dropped at that.

‘I’ll tell you the truth but-‘, Oswald seemed to steel himself, ‘-not here. Would you come with me to the docks?’

Ed’s mind went back to the day Oswald tried to escape from him.

‘But you have a school tour in 20 minutes-‘

‘Now, Ed. I need to do it now. Children can wait.’

Ed swallowed and just tried to breathe evenly for a second.

‘Alright, I- I will let them know we’ll be running late. I’ll come to the car in a second.’

Oswald smiled and walked to the main entrance.

Ed’s eyes were prickling.

_I can do this._

He took a deep breath and grabbed his coat, calling the school while walking out the door and to the limousine.

Oswald was sitting beside him in the back while he talked to the school principal. Ed ended the call and after what seemed like a couple of minutes, the car stopped.

 

They were already at the docks.

_Not yet, I’m not ready!_

Oswald seemed nervous.

They got out of the car and, while they were walking towards the edge of the docks, Ed heard a familiar voice in his right ear.

‘What are you doing?’

Ed sighed. The other Ed walked beside him.

‘This is Ms Kringle all over again. We won’t survive another rejection. Not this time.’

Ed swallowed.

‘Remember that night?’

_‘Please sit down-‘ ‘Don’t touch me!’_

‘Edward?’ Oswald looked concerned. ‘Do you feel alright? Is it your neck?’

Oswald never called him Edward. 

_‘You sicko!’_

‘I’m fine. What did you want to talk about?’ Ed addressed his feet.

Oswald chuckled and all three of them stopped walking.

Ed kept his eyes glued to the water, willing it to soothe him.

 

Oswald stayed silent for a moment.

The other Ed was beside himself. ‘What are you waiting for? Are you going to let him _leave_ you?’

‘I’ve been thinking about it and I don’t want us to be friends. I want-‘

‘Why here?’ Ed couldn’t keep silent. ‘Why did you bring me _here_? Couldn’t you have told me this at the Manor?’ Ed was sweating.

‘I… have an important question to ask you.’ Oswald sounded confused. ‘Ed, are you alright?’

_‘You were stalking me, you are a psychopath!’_

_‘_ I told you I’m fine. Shoot.’ Ed rubbed his eyes under his glasses to try and clear his head. He decided he could risk looking at Oswald in the eye.

That was a mistake.

_His eyes are so impossibly blue in the sunlight._

 

Oswald took a deep breath and smiled. ‘I was scared to tell you but… I’ve come to realise this past year you have been there for me like no one else has. The last few weeks you have been constantly by my side-‘

_‘Let go of me, you freak!’_

‘-and I cannot thank you enough for that. You have been my truest friend.’

Oswald’s speech sounded so far away to Ed’s ears, as if they were underwater. Ed’s eyes unfocused so much that Oswald’s face became a blur. He looked at his reflection on the water of the docks.

_I can’t do this._

‘I told you so. Look into your pocket, I packed a gun before we left.’ Ed slipped a hand into his back pocket.

‘Anyways, what I’m trying to say is-‘ Oswald chuckled nervously. ‘I guess there is only one way to say this.’ He fished something out of his breast pocket and bent his good knee.

‘Will you marry me?’

A gunshot cracked in the air and Oswald gasped. The impact of the bullet pushed him backwards, into the water.

 

Ed’s ears started ringing and everything seemed to happen in slow motion.

A splash. Oswald’s wide-open eyes. A red stain spreading on his vest, mixing with the dirty water of the docks. A ring falling to the ground next to the gun, blinking green and white in the afternoon sun.

Ed’s brain was struggling to piece it all together so he turned to the other Ed. For the first time, his double was speechless. He was looking into the water as if he wanted to drown himself in it.

Ed came back to real life speed and dropped to his knees. His mind reeling, he picked up the ring.

_An engagement ring._

He screamed his lungs out, probably causing permanent damage to his already maimed throat.

With desperation in his movements, he quickly threw himself into the water, swimming to Oswald. He grabbed him tight and struggled to keep their heads above water. Oswald was small but Ed’s muscular tone and swimming skills weren’t enough for the both of them.

It felt like dragging a dead weight back to the surface.

 

The shore was close but Ed knew he wasn’t strong enough to bring them both there. Only one thought kept him going, that he would bring Oswald to the shore or die trying _._

When all hope seemed lost, a rope landed on the surface of the water next to him.

‘Grab it!’

It was a female voice Ed had never heard before and for a moment he was too shocked to move.

‘Hurry, the rope is sinking!’

Ed reached blindly under the water for the rope and somehow grabbed it. His head was almost underwater but he made sure Oswald’s wasn't.

The mysterious girl managed to pull them both onto the shore by the rope, huffing and puffing.

Oswald started shaking.

_He’s alive!_

 

Ed immediately sat up and put his hands on Oswald’s chest, but before he could do anything Oswald spluttered water and opened his eyes.

Ed cried in relief and held Oswald’s head between his hands, unconsciously recreating the scene from the night before.

He pressed his hands to Oswald’s stomach wound and pressed as hard as he could, looking desperately around him for something he could use to stop the bleeding.

‘I love you,’ Oswald whispered, looking at Ed with unfocused eyes.

His mind had obviously not computed what happened after his proposal, he was continuing with his speech as if nothing had happened. He must have been in shock.

Ed laughed hysterically, tears stinging his eyes. ‘I love you, too.’

 

‘Wow.’

Ed had almost forgotten about the girl.

‘Is that Mayor Oswald Cobblepot?’

Ed looked at her. ‘Whoever you are, thank you for saving our lives. Can you bring us somewhere where I can find a- a first-aid kit, or something?’

The red-headed girl smiled. ‘I can do better than that.’

She helped Ed carry a moaning Oswald to some kind of greenhouse overlooking the shore. They placed him on a table and she hurried to pick some leaves from plants nearby. She mashed them together in her hands and applied the mixture on Oswald’s wound. Ed looked on, alarmed.

‘Do you know what you’re doing?’

‘Please,' she scoffed and was already off to another plant.

The blood stopped gushing from the wound.

‘How did you-?’

‘We don’t have time for questions. Do you want your boyfriend to live or not?’’

His heart did a backflip at ‘boyfriend’. He would have been his husband by now if Ed hadn't gone and ruined everything before it could even start.

He took a deep breath. ‘Tell me what to do.’

 

They spent half an hour mixing plants and flowers, making Oswald drink infusions and applying mixtures on the wound. The girl seemed to be an expert of herbal remedies, she said things like ‘This is disinfect the wound’ or ‘This is to stabilise his nervous system’.

Ed had never heard of any of the things they did, and he had medical training. But it seemed to be working and they didn't have many other options so far away from Gotham Central Hospital.

Oswald had passed out halfway through their administrations, but he seemed to have gained some colour on his cheeks and he was breathing calmly.

‘We’re done. He’ll be as good as new in a couple of weeks.’ The girl seemed proud of herself.

Ed dropped on a bench nearby and coughed painfully.

‘And what happened to _you_?’ She walked closer to Ed, noticing the purple marks around his neck. ‘Oh my God, you are that guy who got attacked by the leader of the Red Hood Gang last night! I was there!' She seemed happy about that.

Ed looked at her.

‘Let me see, I think I can whip up something-‘

‘I’m fine.’

She stopped on her way to yet another plant. ‘But-‘

‘I deserve it.’

 

A long silence fell after that.

'Why would you say that?'

Ed rubbed his eyes. ’What’s your name?’

She sat down next to him. ‘Ivy Pepper.’

‘Well, Ivy Pepper, I don’t deserve your help because I’m the one who shot him.’

She gasped quite comically. ‘No way!’

Ed looked at her again.

‘Sorry, it’s just… you are the Penguin’s protégé, everybody knows that. They all think you’re lovers. You almost died for him, last night.’

Ed took a shaking breath. ‘I would still die for him. It’s… complicated.’

‘Sure is.’ She looked impressed.

‘How-‘ Ed’s voice broke. He tried again, ’How did you find us?’

‘Oh, that was easy. I live here in this greenhause, close to the shore, and I heard someone scream. I took a rope and ran to the screaming. It’s not my first emergency patch-up, my father-‘ She suddenly stopped talking.

She sighed. ‘It doesn’t matter. Are you hungry?’

 

Ed’s stomach grumbled in response. He just realised he had skipped breakfast _and_ lunch. _The school tour. Roger._ It all seemed so far away now.

His phone wasn’t working after the dive and Oswald’s had fallen into the water. Ed told Ivy he would be right back and to keep an eye on Oswald. She seemed like a nice girl who could be trusted with that.

He walked back to the limousine and found Roger still in the driver’s seat, waiting.

_He must be a professional to stay in the car after hearing a gunshot… but then again he must be used to it._

Ed asked if he could borrow his phone. Roger had a strange look on his face but he complied. Ed called the school principal and told her Oswald was currently unable to come. She sounded annoyed but thanked Ed for calling. Then Ed called Victor Zsasz, told him to lay low for a while and to inform Oswald’s men the boss was hit. Victor asked if he should come over.Ed knew Victor was genuinely loyal to Oswald because he had agreed to stage Butch's capture for the sake of Oswald's reputation, but there was actual concern in his voice that Ed was not expecting from a ruthless killer for hire.

Ed told him they were alright for now but instructed him to send Olga with clothes, blankets, food and new phones. He closed the flip phone and gave it back to Roger, telling him to go home and wait for Olga.

 

After Roger drove off, Ed let out a shaky breath. He went back to the docks to retrieve the ring and the gun.

_Until Oswald regains consciousness, no one can know I’m the one who shot him. Victor would kill me. But when Oswald feels better, I’ll leave and never come back._

‘I’m sorry, Eddie.’

Ed didn’t even look up and started walking back to the greenhouse.

The other Ed looked like he was in shock. ‘I had no idea he was going to propose, I-‘

‘Spare me. I’m you, I know everything you’re about to say.’

They walked side by side for a few minutes.

The clouds were blocking the sun, preventing sunlight from touching Gotham.The sun never shines in Gotham.

‘We should have waited for him to finish.’

‘You think?’ Ed spat out the words, full of anger. _He’s me_ , he reminded himself. _There’s no one else to blame but me._

‘I’ll leave you alone for a while. Take care of him.’

And with that, the other Ed was gone.

 

When Ed walked back into the greenhouse, Ivy had started cooking. He helped her and they had lunch in the kitchen, since the dining room table was occupied by Oswald.

While eating, Ivy talked nonstop about all sorts of things but Ed didn’t mind, anything was better than listening to his own guilt.

They checked on Oswald every half an hour, he seemed stable but it would probably take him weeks to regain full consciousness. For the moment he needed sleep and Ed was secretly thankful for that.

_I’m not ready to face him._

They heard knocking and let Olga in. She walked in with as many bags as she could carry, placed them on the floor and looked at Oswald lying on the table.

She shook her head at Ed and walked out, without a word.

Ivy helped Ed to change Oswald into more comfortable, warm clothes.

‘I know it’s a lot to ask, but can we stay here for a couple of days? Your plants seem to work and he’s too weak to move now.’

Ivy lit up. ‘Of course! I’d like some company. I love my plants but they don’t, you know, talk back.’

They moved Oswald to a real bed and wrapped him up in blankets.

 

Ed held his hand for a while, sitting at his bedside, just watching him breathe.

‘You’re still wearing wet clothes and it’s freezing outside.’ Ivy had silently come up to the door to watch them.

Ed hadn’t even noticed he was shaking until she pointed out that it was cold.

’You must love him a lot.’

Ed closed his eyes and rested his head on Oswald’s shoulder.

‘Not enough.’

 


	13. Wake Up Alone (Edward, again)

_It's okay in the day_

_I'm staying busy_

_Tied up enough so I don't have to wonder where is he_

_Got so sick of crying_

_So just lately_

_When I catch myself, I do a one-eighty_

 

_He's fierce in my dreams, seizing my guts_

_He floats me with dread_

_Soaked in soul_

_He swims in my eyes by the bed_

_Pour myself over him_

_Moon spilling in_

_And I wake up alone_

 

_If I was my heart_

_I'd rather be restless_

_The second I stop, the sleep catches up_

_And I'm breathless_

_'Cause this ache in my chest_

_As my day is done now_

_The dark covers me, and I cannot run now_

 

_My blood running cold_

_I stand before him_

_It's all I can do to assure him_

_When he comes to me_

_I drip for him tonight_

_Drowning in me, we bathe under blue light_

 

Wake Up Alone - Amy Winehouse

 

 

After five days, Oswald still couldn’t open his eyes.

His condition was stable but he was not improving and Ed was going crazy with worry. After a week of that, he decided they could risk taking him back to the Manor. He hired a professional nurse to stay at his side at all times. Ed moved back to the Manor as well, promising himself that he would leave soon.

Ivy had proven herself to be useful and trustworthy enough not to tell Oswald’s staff who had shot him, so Ed decided to ask her to move in, too. The more people caring for Oswald, the better. She seemed exited about being part of such a powerful household and accepted, at the condition that she could go to her greenhouse every day.

Ed slept in his old guest room and set up a mini hospital in Oswald’s master bedroom across the hall.

 

‘Knock knock?’

Ivy entered Ed’s bedroom when she got no answer.

‘Hey, how are you holding up?’

Ed rubbed his sore eyes and remained silent.

‘I love your new suit, green is my favourite colour.’

Ed smiled at her and went back to staring into nothing.

Ivy sighed. ‘I hear you sneak out every night. Are you sleeping at all?’

Ed shook his head weakly.

She sat down next to him on the bed. ‘Ed, what have you been doing instead of sleeping?’

Ed looked at her dead in the eye. ‘I’ve been killing people.’

She didn’t bat an eye. ‘Who?’

‘Artists, writers, philosophers, professors…’

‘Why?’ She didn’t look scared.

Ed didn’t answer and waited for her to insist.

She didn’t.

 

After a while they decided to go downstairs to have breakfast, but Ed wanted to check on Oswald first. He would never get used to the sight of Oswald’s room full of medical supplies, IV next to the bed.

_He looks so small and weak._

Ed checked his temperature and talked to Rosalee, the nurse. She was an efficient woman, very discreet, who always reassured him with sympathy in her eyes. Oswald was showing signs of improvement, she said.

‘Come on, let’s go.’ Ivy pulled Ed by the sleeve and they went downstairs to have breakfast.

Ed liked to talk to Ivy, she was funny and they had a lot more in common than just their favourite colour. Her knowledge of flora seemed infinite and she never got tired of explaining her science to him, whether he asked for it or not.

Olga brought them breakfast on a tray, looking at Ed suspiciously.

She had been acting strange around him, as if she knew what had actually happened to Oswald and didn’t approve. Oswald had the habit of talking too much in her presence, because he was unconsciously reminded of his mother, so maybe he let something slip before going to the docks.

 _The docks_.

It had already been three weeks since Oswald was shot.

_Since I shot him._

 

‘Ed?’

Ed realised he had zoned out and missed what Ivy had just said.

‘I need to go water my plants now, will you be alright?’

‘Yes. Yes, of course. Sorry.’

She didn’t look like she believed him. ‘I’ll be back as soon as I can.’

Ed grabbed her wrist when she walked past him. ‘Thank you.’

She smiled and walked out of the room.

Ed waited a moment, then he inhaled deeply and took a pill from the small metal container in his pocket. He crunched it and waited for it to work.

His ears started ringing and he breathed deeply.

‘What did I tell you about dripping on the couch?’

Oswald rolled his eyes.

‘You are the only person I know who frets about his drug-induced hallucinations making a mess.’ He got up from the couch. ‘But if it makes you happy.’

Ed sighed, relieved. ‘Thank you.’

 

Oswald’s clothes were dripping on the floor and he had some algae on his neck. He looked just like he had when Ivy dragged them out of the river.

He smiled. ‘How’s your little school project going?’

Ed always tried but he just couldn’t tear his eyes away from that vision.

_The personification of my worst nightmare. That is, if I dared to sleep._

_‘_ How many are we up to now? Five? Six? There was the curator, the writer… what a pretentious ass. All with high I.Q., driven and creative. And yet-‘’

Ed rubbed his eyes and admitted, ‘Yet each one failed.’

‘You must be the first person in history to go on a killing spree in order to find a life coach.’ Oswald looked exasperated. ‘Perhaps you should ditch the riddles.’

‘No.’ Ed started pacing. ‘A good riddle reveals the asker. To solve it is to solve the mystery of the person posing it. If I can find someone to solve my riddles, I can find someone to help me.’

 

Oswald brushed the algae off, looking mildly disgusted.

_He looks just like him._

‘I can solve your riddles.’

‘Someone _else.’_

Oswald sighed. ‘Do you really think you're gonna find someone who can teach you how to be a villain?’

‘Yes! I need to find a way to move forward. You’re gonna wake up soon and I need a plan to-‘

‘There is no Edward Nygma without the Penguin and you know it.’

‘But-‘

‘Ed, villains do not have teachers! I made myself into the Penguin when I threw Fish Mooney off a building.’

 

Ed paused to think.

Oswald kept moving around the room in the blink of an eye, confusing him.

‘You’re right, perhaps I'm thinking about this all wrong.’

‘Obviously.’ Oswald seemed relieved.

Ed suddenly lit up. ’I don't need a teacher. I need an enemy.’

‘No, that is not-‘

‘The greatest villains have always been defined by the men who tried to stop them! And I know the perfect man.’

Oswald closed his eyes and pressed his lips into a thin line, seemingly gathering all of his patience.

’Please, do not say-‘

‘Jim Gordon.’

Oswald scoffed and disappeared.

 

Ed called Victor and started preparing his plan. Oswald would recover soon and he needed to _leave_.

Victor arrived just half an hour later with all the equipment Ed had asked for.

‘Thank you, Victor.’ Ed put everything into a bag.

‘No problem. These are children’s toys, easy to find.’

Ed forced a smile and made to leave.

‘Do you need help?’

Ed looked down at his hands. They were violently shaking.

‘I have to do this on my own.’

Victor always looked so _intense_. ‘You look like you've seen a ghost.’

Ed closed his eyes for a moment. _I just might have._

‘You came to me when you found out about Butch's betrayal so you know I care about him, too. Just tell me what’s going on.’

Victor’s grin was terrifying. ‘Did you find out who shot him? I want in if that's the case.’

Ed looked at him, feeling jealous and more guilty than ever.

‘Thank you for the offer, but that's not the case.’

Victor looked disappointed.

Ed hesitated but then decided to add, ’The police might come looking for me soon. If they do, let them. I'll be gone by tonight anyways.’

Shocked realisation dawned on Victor's face but before he could react Ed had left the Mansion.

 

As soon as Ed finished setting up his trap for the police in the chess room, he went to his vantage point on the balcony, overseeing the players.

He crunched another pill and his ears started ringing.

‘Thanks for coming.’

‘Like I had a choice.’ Oswald didn’t seem too happy with him.

‘Oh, you'll thank me. This is gonna be electrifying!’

Ed observed the players and frowned.

‘Oh, honestly. They call anyone a grandmaster these days.’ Ed chuckled.

Oswald was munching on some popcorn.

_Stress eating, like the real Oswald._

‘Can we discuss why you're doing this?’

Oswald stared at him putting too much popcorn into his mouth. Half of it fell to the floor.

Ed looked at the fallen flakes and sighed. ‘I told you why.’

Oswald put down the popcorn. ‘The real reason. See, Ed, the trouble with talking to projections of your psyche-‘ Oswald chuckled ‘-and you of all people should know this, is that they know _everything_ you know. Including the things you're trying _not_ to know.’

 

Oswald materialised on the other side of Ed.

‘Gordon can't help you. Only I can. Face the truth.’

With that, Oswald vanished and Ed was left there alone.

Downstairs, the GCPD had arrived. He saw Harvey Bullock and Lucius Fox among them. But no Jim.

Ed felt stung by that but he put his plan into action anyway.

He activated the devices under the chess boards and watched all those idiots in uniforms freak out for a while.

He laughed.

When it stopped being entertaining, he left.

Hopefully, they would find his next clue in less than two hours. Confident about his work, he went back to the Mansion to prepare the final touches of the plan.

After two hours, the phone didn’t ring.

 

Just when he was about to explode, the phone rang. 

‘You're late,’ he barked into the phone. ‘I expected this call seven minutes ago.’

‘This is Lucius Fox of the GCPD.’ Mr Fox sounded confused.

_Is Jim purposefully ignoring me?_

‘I know who you are, Mr Fox. And by the way, it's bad manners to intercept other people's mail.’

‘You mean the telegram you sent Gordon. He's not here. Who is this?’

‘You don't actually expect me to answer that, do you?’ Ed furiously rubbed his temples.

‘Then tell me why you killed Professor Dyson and the others. I know it was you.’ Ed opened his eyes. _Well, that was clever._

‘I had no choice. They failed my test.’ _Maybe Foxy will succeed. He solved one of my riddles before. ‘_ Now it's your turn to try.’

There was a pause. ‘And if I don't accept the invitation?’

‘There are lives at stake, Mr Fox. Not just your own.’

 Ed walked to the living room table and leaned on it, heavily. _I can’t go on without sleep much longer._

‘Now, listen closely. Tomorrow, when the pawn's on queen, you'll find my next target in the belly of the beast. Solve my clue, Mr Fox, and you'll be one step closer to passing my test.’

He ended the call and crunched another pill.

’And I'll be one step closer to introducing myself to Gotham.’

 

‘The Chess Killer.’ Oswald appeared on the other side of the table, reading the newspaper. ‘How terrifying!’

He slapped the newspaper on the table. ‘How will anyone _sleep_ knowing the Chess Killer's on the loose?’

Ed pushed up his glasses. ’It's just a name dreamed up by some hack. I’ll find a better one.’

‘This is a mistake. What you're doing. I showed you how to be Ed Nygma, a man who could run the underworld and operate in plain sight. What you are planning is madness.’ Oswald’s eyes were wide open, just like before he fell backwards into the water.

_He’s scared._

 

‘No, it’s a way forward. And the fact that it scares you gives me all the confirmation I need. You’re trying to keep me here but I can’t stay.’

‘Ed, you are not sleeping. You are taking drugs. You are having a conversation with your comatose friend-‘

Ed put on his jacket.

‘Just admit that you are lost without me or you will destroy everything!’

Oswald looked enraged and way too close for Ed's comfort.

‘I have to go.’ Ed’s voice was nothing more than a whisper. He quickly made to leave but stopped when he heard the sound of a record scratching and… _music?_

 

He slowly turned around, dreading what he would see.

‘What are you doing?’

The scene in front of him was bathed in red light and Oswald had changed into a black suit with white gloves and a top hat. And he was _singing_.

 

_‘He's fierce in my dreams_

_Seizing my guts_

_He floats me with dread_

_Soaked in soul_

_He swims in my eyes by the bed’_

 

Oswald was moving seductively, as if he were doing some sort of routine, but his voice was distorted, like in a dream.

Ed slapped himself to make sure he was awake and tried to ignore how painfully turned on he was. He rubbed his eyes under his glasses, sweating.

 

_‘Pour myself over him_

_Moon spilling in_

_And I wake up alone’_

 

Ed slapped his hands down on the table. ‘That’s enough!’

The music stopped but Oswald kept his outfit and the mischievous look.

Ed stumbled back a few steps and Oswald materialised on his right.

He whispered in his ear, ‘I _see_ you as you are, Ed.’

Ed turned his head to him and whimpered, ‘Please don't.’

‘I’m the only one.’

With tears clouding his eyes, Ed’s vision was so blurry that he could pretend it was the real Oswald when they kissed.

Ed let the top hat drop to the floor and grabbed Oswald's hair, opening his mouth with greed.

He had never tried touching an hallucination before and it felt surprisingly real. He should probably have been worried about that, but with Oswald in his arms kissing him back furiously, it was difficult to care about his mental health.

 

Ed made Oswald stumble backwards until his legs hit the table. He pushed Oswald’s back flat on the table, pulling up his legs and keeping them at his sides.

Ed finally came up for air, his chest heaving.

Oswald looked up at him from under his long eyelashes, mouth hanging open.

Ed closed his eyes, trying to get a hold of himself.

Oswald flipped himself over so that he was bent forwards over the table, belly down against the hard surface.

Ed whined pitifully and tried not to react to Oswald pressing back against him. He failed miserably.

 

Ed placed both his hands on the table and held on for dear life.

‘Please don't.’

Oswald disappeared from underneath him and reappeared at his side, back to his wet appearance.

Ed looked at him, crying silently. ‘I can’t stay.’

Oswald remained silent.

‘A part of me died when I fired that gun. I will never be the same again. But I have to find a way forward.’

There was a long moment of silence.

Oswald looked sad. ’There is no Edward Nygma without the Penguin.’

Ed stood up straight and looked at him straight in the eye.

‘Perhaps.’

Ed took his bag and walked out of the Mansion, heart beating like a hammer.

 

He found Harvey Bullock at the police cadets’ graduating ceremony, as planned. After tying him up, he knocked the cadets out with gas.

Foxy arrived just when Ed had finished preparing his game. Harvey was tied to a chair hanging from the edge of stairs and Ed was ready to cut the ropes and make Harvey fall to his death, if necessary.

Ed smiled at Mr Fox. _Finally._ ‘I will give you three riddles. For every riddle you get wrong, I cut a rope. You get three wrong and this excuse for a higher primate and the antidote around his neck-‘ Ed whistled. ‘-fall over the ledge. Am I clear?’

Foxy seemed scared, but also more in control than all those other idiots at the GCPD. He fell for the fake antidote, though.

‘And if I get them right?’

‘Everyone lives! Even if you get just _one_. Can't be fairer than that.’

‘Okay.’

 

‘Wonderful!’ Ed made a drum roll with his hands. ‘First riddle. I can fill a room or just one heart. Others can have me, but I can't be shared. What am I?’

‘The answer's love.’

The word felt like a painful pang to his chest.

‘What? No. No! The- the answer is loneliness! How do you not know that?!’

Ed cut the first rope holding Harvey.

‘No, Nygma. No, no! Oh, God!’ Harvey was howling pathetically.

‘Ask me another.’ Foxy looked calculating.

‘Okay. Second riddle. I can be a member of a group, but can never blend in. What am I?’

‘A snowflake.’

_What._

‘A sn-‘ Ed stumbled over the word. ‘No! No! No! The answer is an individual.’

Ed made to go cut the second rope but Fox said, ‘Wait!’

Ed turned around.

‘Snowflake is also a suitable answer. No two are alike, making them by definition individuals, therefore an answer befitting your riddle.’

 

Ed took a deep breath. ‘Okay.’ He pulled out the switchblade. ‘I don't think you _grasp_ how this works. You have to give _my_ answer.’ He cut the rope.

‘Oh, mama! I'm sorry! Oh, God!’

Ed rubbed his eyes and gasped, ‘Oswald was right. He's the only one-’

He walked to Foxy, frustration brimming from his every pore. ‘No! It's just you. You aren't a good enough enemy!’

Ed suddenly realised he had his gun pressed to Foxy’s forehead. ‘No, no, no. Three riddles. Three answers. Those are the rules, Ed. Okay.’

He clapped his hands together and took another deep breath. ‘Final riddle. I feel your every move, I know your every thought, I'm with you from birth, and I'll see you rot. What am I?’

Foxy didn’t seem focused on the riddles anymore, though.

‘What did you do, Ed?’

Ed froze.

Foxy frowned. ‘Are you the one who shot Penguin?’

Ed panicked and rubbed his eyes again, painfully.

 

‘Something happened between you two, didn't it? Why did you shoot him?’

Harvey shook his head in the background. ‘This is not gonna be good. This is not gonna be good.’

Foxy looked sad. ‘You love him, don't you?’

Ed ignored him. ‘I feel your every thought, I feel your every move, I know your every thought, I'm with you from birth, and I'll see you rot. What am I?’

This time Foxy sounded sure. ‘A reflection.’

Harvey, as usual, was out of the loop. ‘Why does it always have to be three answers?! Why can't he get four?! Come on!’

Ed smiled, although victory tasted bitterweet. ‘Correct.’

He ran away while the ropes snapped and didn’t turn around to see if Harvey survived.

_He always treated me like a freak, he deserves what’s coming to him._

 

There was someone Ed needed to see immediately and that someone was Oswald. The _real_ Oswald. He needed to say goodbye.

When he arrived at the Mansion, the police was not there yet. Ed made his way to the master bedroom and opened the door.

Victor was at Oswald’s side, looking genuinely worried and a bit lost.

Ed felt a stab of jealousy in his chest.

 _He is not mine to be jealous of,_ he reminded himself.

Victor looked up at him and stared for a long time. He didn't say a word but Ed could swear that he  _knew._

Eventually, Victor sighed and walked out the room. Rosalee was probably downstairs, having dinner.

Alone with Oswald, Ed sat down next to the bed and took out the engagement ring that he kept in his pocket.

_I have to stop carrying it around, it’s not mine to keep._

Ed sighed and looked at Oswald’s sleeping face, then back at the ring.

Without realising it, Ed slipped it on his ring finger and simply stared at it for a minute.

 

Oswald suddenly awoke with a gasp.

Ed jumped up, his heart beating almost as fast as Oswald’s, judging from the machine’s rapid beeping. He sat back down and tried to soothe Oswald by rubbing his hands on the smaller man’s arms.

That seemed to calm Oswald down and his eyes finally focused on Ed.

‘Ed? Wh-‘ Oswald’s voice broke from disuse. He tried again, ‘What happened?’

Ed’s throat was dry and his mind reeling. He didn’t know what to say.

Oswald’s breathing slowed and his eyes dropped to Ed’s hand.

Ed looked down, too.

_Oh._

Oswald’s mouth hung open for a second. Then he took Ed’s hand and looked up at him, a blinding smile in place.

‘You said yes.’ His voice was barely a whisper.

 

Red alarms were blaring in Ed’s mind, but he didn’t have the heart to stop Oswald from kissing him. He made a strangled sound and kissed him back.

Oswald tasted like iron and morphine. That brought Ed back to reality and he broke the kiss. ‘No, wait.‘

Oswald looked more confused than ever. 'Why?'

Ed’s eyes watered. ’You really don’t remember, do you?’

‘Remember what?’ Oswald squeezed his hand.

‘You're suffering from memory loss, it’s not uncommon after traumatic experiences.’

Oswald chuckled nervously. ‘Traumatic experiences? Ed, what are you-‘

Only then Oswald stopped to look around him. ‘Why does our bedroom look like a hospital?’

_Our bedroom._

Ed rubbed his red-rimmed eyes. ‘I’m sorry, Oswald, but you deserve to know the truth.’

 

‘When you took me to the docks to-‘ He stuttered. ‘-to propose to me, I thought you were going to tell me that you didn’t feel the same as I did.’

_It sounds even more stupid aloud._

‘I misinterpreted the signs and I panicked, I-‘ Ed took a deep breath. ‘-I shot you.’

Oswald’s already pale face became even whiter, blending in with the sheets around him.

‘I’m so sorry, I would give anything to change what happened but I can’t. I can’t. The other me, he-‘ Ed stumbled over his own words. ‘But it doesn’t matter anymore.'

Ed looked at him in the eye. 'I tried to kill the love of my life.’

Oswald started crying silently.

‘And I’ll have to live with this monstrosity for the rest of my days.’

Ed slipped the ring off his finger and, hands shaking violently, he handed it back to Oswald.

Oswald took it without touching hands, with so many emotions in his eyes that it was impossible to tell them apart.

Ed swallowed. ‘The others will fill you in on the rest, you were unconscious for a few weeks. I have to go now.’

Ed stood up and went to the door, waiting for Oswald to say something. Hoping he would stop him.

But Oswald remained silent, with the ring still on his palm, and Ed walked out the door.

 

Ed hid in the vegetation outside the Manor, waiting for the police to show up. When they did, he listened to them marching into the Manor and asking Oswald where Ed was. From the open window of the room, Ed heard Oswald’s answer.

‘I have no idea where he is but he’s definitely not here.’

‘Pen-' He corrected himself. 'Mayor Cobblepot, did you know he’s the one who shot you?’

A pause followed that, the longer pause in Ed’s entire life.

‘I'm aware of what happened. I don’t recall pressing charges, though.’

Ed exhaled and walked away into the shadows.

 

After an hour, the police finished searching the place and left.

 


	14. Landfill (Oswald)

_Throw me in a landfill_

_Don't think about the consequences_

_Throw me in the dirt pit_

_Don't think about the choices that you make_

_Throw me in the water_

_Don't think about the splash I will create_

_Leave me at the altar_

_Knowing all the things you just escaped_

 

_Push me out to sea_

_On a little boat that you made out_

_Of the evergreen that you helped your father cut away_

_Leave me on the tracks_

_To wait until the morning train arrives_

_Don't you dare look back_

_Walk away, catch up with the sunrise_

 

_'Cause this is torturous_

_Electricity between both of us_

_And this is dangerous_

_'Cause I want you so much_

_But I hate your guts, I hate you_

 

_So leave me in the cold_

_Wait until the snow covers me up_

_So I cannot move_

_So I'm just embedded in the frost_

_Then leave me in the rain_

_Wait until my clothes cling to my frame_

_Wipe away your tear stains_

_Thought you said you didn't feel pain_

 

Landfill - Daughter

 

 

It took two more weeks for Oswald to fully recover, constantly surrounded by people checking up on him.

He was surprised to see how many people stayed by his side in his moment of need: Olga and Roger had started dating and were more loyal than ever, Victor barely ever left his side and had apparently appointed himself as his personal bodyguard, Ivy Pepper and Rosalee were recent additions but they seemed determined to stick around. The only ones who left were Gabe and his men, while Oswald was still unconscious, but Ivy was already recruiting new people to make up for it.

Oswald thought about all this while watching the news on TV, at the Manor.

 

‘The criminal calling himself “Riddler” killed a man and terrorised Gotham’s elite last night at the theatre, we have a witness in our studio today-’

Oswald turned off the TV and called Ivy on the phone.

She picked up right away.

‘Hello, Pengy!’

Oswald rolled his eyes but smiled. ‘Hello. Did you find the frea- Mr Freeze and Firefly?’

‘Yes, we found them. Your men wanted to take them by force but I said that was a bad move and talked to Victor Fries and Bridgit myself. I convinced them your offering is better than the lives they’re leading here in this cold and now we’re all coming back to Gotham. I was about to call you but my hands are frozen and-’

‘Good job, Ivy. I’ll be waiting for the three of you, then.’

‘We’ll be there soon. Bye!’

 Oswald ended the call and stared into the fireplace.

His underworld empire had never been stronger, his security measures had improved since his latest near-death experience and he had consolidated his reputation as unbelievably hard to kill.

His mayoral career, on the other hand, was going downhill. After he had recovered he found that he simply… lost interest in it.

 

Victor entered the room.

‘Boss?’

Oswald tried to get up on his own and failed. Victor promptly handed him his penguin cane.

‘Thank you. What is it, Victor?’

‘You have the school tour in half an hour. Roger is waiting for us in the car.’

Oswald sighed and rubbed his forehead. Lately he was doing that so often that his fringe was starting to move upwards.

‘Right.’ Oswald absolutely had to go this time, that was the tour he skipped when… when he was shot.

 

Roger drove them to the school and, before they could get out of the car, Oswald grabbed Victor’s wrist.

‘Victor, we can’t bring guns into a school.’

There was a moment of silence when Victor realised what was asked of him and left the guns in the car, smirking at Oswald.

‘Leaving my toys behind won't save them if push comes to shove, boss.’

Oswald gave him a secret smile. ‘I know. I’m counting on that.’

They walked to the main entrance of the school while the bell rang and children swarmed the courtyard.

Victor looked just as out of place as Oswald.

The principal ran to them, shook Oswald’s hand and nodded in Victor’s general direction, looking uncertain about his role at the mayor’s service.

‘Welcome to Gibbs’ School for Orphans, Mayor Cobblepot.’

‘Thank you, Principal Danes.’

She was a tall woman with a boring look about her, the look of someone who prized routine and discipline above all else.

‘Please, follow me.’

 

Oswald begrudgingly followed her to her office and they spent the next twenty minutes talking about nothing and taking pictures for the press.

Victor looked perplexed and vaguely alarmed at the whole situation. Oswald couldn’t blame him.

_I worked so hard to get here and now… I hate it._

When they were done, Principal Danes told him to go mingle with the children while she attended to some paperwork.

Oswald forced himself to smile and walked towards Victor.

‘Can we leave now?’ Victor was evidently uncomfortable.

Oswald nodded and they half-ran to the car.

 

When they were back in the courtyard, something Oswald saw in the corner of his eye made him suddenly stop in his tracks.

Two tall children were pushing around a smaller one. They started throwing his possessions back and forth between them, over his head.

Oswald couldn’t help but stare, flashbacks of his own childhood coming back, making him visibly flinch.

The small boy finally got away and, when the bullies were out of sight, he poured what looked suspiciously like gasoline on a couple of backpacks. They were probably the bullies’ backpacks.

 

‘Boss, what are waiting for?’

The kid lighted a match.

Oswald’s eyes bulged and he yelled, ‘Boy! Come here this instant!’

Victor frowned and looked at the boy.

The small child walked to Oswald, looking cautious.

Oswald tried to hide the fact that he was impressed. ’What do you think you’re doing?’

The kid had a sketch pad tied to his neck.

 _His eyes look just like…_ Oswald shook away the thought before it could form while the boy drew a fire on his pad and showed him.

_He can’t speak._

Oswald rolled his eyes at the drawing. ’You can’t do things like that. Your enemies will know it was you.’

Victor nodded in agreement. The kid had his attention, too.

The boy smiled sheepishly and Oswald’s heart melted.

 

Oswald shared a meaningful look with Victor and regarded the small child.

‘What’s your name?’

The boy quickly scribbled and showed Oswald the pad.

 _Martin_.

Oswald felt a strange connection between them so he decided to give him some advice.

‘Martin, revenge is never as simple as a mere tit for tat. It must be specific in nature. Now, when you imagine revenge against your two juvenile tormentors, what do you see?’

Martin made the cutest thoughtful face and started drawing. He drew a dead man with two knifes sticking out of him.

Oswald and Victor chuckled.

Martin frowned and straightened his bow tie.

 

Oswald cleared his throat. ’That might be a little overly ambitious. We must be crafty.’

Martin looked back and forward between Victor and Oswald.

‘For instance, friendship can be an especially deadly tactic. How do you think you might use friendship to drive a wedge between your two antagonists?’

Martin took a moment to think and folded back another sheet of paper.

He wrote, ‘They’re both flunking math.’

Oswald smiled. ’And you, I imagine, are very good at math?’

Martin nods.

Oswald laughs. ’Excellent!’

Victor cleared his throat.

Oswald realised he was late for a business meeting. ‘Right, I have to go.’

Martin looked crestfallen.

‘But I’ll be back soon. I want to hear if our plan worked.’

Martin looked uncertain but smiled hopefully and walked away.

 

‘What was that about, boss?’ Victor asked when they got into the car and drove off.

Oswald sighed and rubbed his forehead. ’I don’t know, Victor. I really don’t know.’

 

—

 

The next week came around bringing unexpected joy to Oswald.

He felt compelled to visit Martin every day and he started looking forward to their time together more than anything else. Victor was always by his side and grew fond of the boy, as well.

When Martin told Oswald that he managed to turn his bullies against each other Oswald felt so proud.

’Well done! Feels good, does it not?’

Martin was a promising young man and Oswald started thinking he could become a worthy successor one day, if raised properly. His was a dangerous line of work and there was no guarantee he would grow old to see it through. When he had to go, though, he wanted to leave a successor who would continue his work properly.

 

One day Oswald decided to teach Martin how to drive a blade to a man’s heart. They were at the Mansion, in Oswald’s study.

‘Now that you mastered the art of manipulating your adversary, I’ll show you how to kill them swiftly, in case words don’t work.’

Oswald took the knife from his penguin-shaped cane and showed the movement to Martin.

‘Now you try.’

Victor walked into the room silently and observed, pleasantly surprised.

Oswald smiled up at him. ’Martin is practicing.’

Martin stabbed the air in front of him.

‘No, it’s up. Upwards, Martin, so you drive the blade under the ribs and into the heart.’

Martin was trying his best but failed miserably.

Oswald shook his head affectionately. ‘Victor, would you please help him perfect his technique while I go downstairs to meet my new recruits?’

Victor nodded and walked to Martin.

Oswald smiled reassuringly to Martin and walked downstairs.

 

‘Ivy, welcome back.’

Ivy was wrapped in at least five layers of winter clothing and tried to hug Oswald through all of them.

‘Pengy, you look so much better!’

Oswald awkwardly patted her on the back and looked behind her.

Mr Freeze and Firefly surely didn’t go unnoticed in their full attire. They were looking around themselves at the room in a distrustful manner.

Ivy let go of Oswald and introduced everyone.

Oswald felt all eyes on him. ‘Mr Freeze. Firefly. I apologise for sending you away from Gotham. As you both know, that puppet show was only to win the elections. You no longer have any reason to fear me. We can help each other out if you accept to work for me.

 

Mr Freeze huffed and a small white cloud escaped his mouth. ‘I just want to go back to who I was.’

Oswald chuckled nervously. ‘Perfectly understandable. We can certainly look into that.’ He was confident there was no cure so he could promise that easily.

Then he looked at Firefly. ‘I can offer you protection from prying eyes and a well-paid job.’

Firefly tilted her head to the side. ’And how do you plan to do that, _Mr Mayor_? You are a public figure.’

 

‘Not after tonight. I’m resigning.’

Ivy gasped and looked at him. ‘Are you serious?’

Oswald sighed. ‘Yes. I’ve been thinking about it since I woke up from the coma. I have enough on my hands with Gotham’s underbelly and I can’t keep up with my mayoral duties.’

Oswald turned back to his new recruits. ‘Do we have a deal?’

Mr Freeze and Firefly shared a look.

It was him who spoke first. ‘We do. But I insist you call me Victor Fries.’

‘And I’m Bridgit.’

Oswald smiled. ‘Of course. If you’ll excuse me, I need to prepare myself for tonight’s announcement. Please feel free to pick whichever guest rooms you like.’

 

Ivy showed them around the house while Oswald walked to his bedroom. He went into the adjoining bathroom and decided to draw a bath instead of showering.

He stared into the water for a second, remembering the docks, and a shiver made his spine quiver. He told himself he was being silly and stepped into the water, sitting down in the bathtub.

_I’m fine. Everything’s fine._

He took a moment to simply bask in the soapy water, smelling the scent of lilies in the air. He stared at his reflection in the water for a long time. When it started getting cold he reached for the hot tap.

That’s when it happened.

His good leg, the one he was using to push himself towards the tap, gave out and tipped him off balance. He slipped underwater with his entire body.

 

At first he felt absolutely nothing, it would just take a quick push to get his head above water, but then memories started coming back like tidal waves.

_A gunshot. His ears ringing. Falling into water. Cold surrounding him from all sides. His lungs filling with it. His throat burning. Jim. Jim standing on the edge of the docks, looking down at him through the water. Disgust on his face._

Oswald tried to fight back the images flooding his mind, feeling panic rise in his chest. He tried to stay rooted in the present but another series of images hit him like a freight train, keeping him underwater.

_Jim morphed into Ed. There was no sound, only pain. Pain in his stomach, pain in his lungs, pain in Ed’s eyes. Cold. He had never felt so cold. The cold seeped in his bones and froze him in place._

 

Oswald was screaming in his mind but outwardly he couldn’t make a sound.

In fact, he couldn’t move at all.

His mouth opened silently and he gulped the soapy water, feeling like he was trapped in a cage. A cage in his own mind.

A small functioning part of his brain registered that he was drowning, drowning in his own bathtub. His limbs didn’t cooperate with his brain and refused to make the small effort that it would take to pull him back up. He felt nothing but fear and loneliness, pressing on him from all sides..

All of a sudden, he felt someone grab him and he was forcefully pulled out of the water.

 

He found himself sitting up naked on the bathroom floor and someone was holding his chest up from behind him. Oswald coughed out water and saw only white, white everywhere.

His eyes took a while to adjust and when they did, his bathroom came into focus. While he was wheezing, his eyes fell on the arms that were holding him.

 _Victor’s scars_.

Oswald pushed the last bit of water out of his lungs but kept wheezing. He started sobbing and shaking.

After a minute he realised, in a small corner of his mind, that Victor was talking to him.

‘Boss? Boss, listen to my voice. Breathe.’

Oswald did his best but kept hyperventilating. He only had one coherent thought bouncing around in his head: _I’m having a panic attack._

 

Victor cursed. He pushed Oswald with his back against a wall and kneeled in front of him.

‘Boss, look at me.’

It took Oswald a moment to realise Victor was rubbing his shoulders.

The physical contact, more than the words, made him look up at the man in front of him.

Victor sighed in relief. ‘Good. Focus on me and take deep breaths. You are safe now.’ A small pause followed. ‘I will protect you.’

Oswald unconsciously synchronised his breathing to Victor’s, who was making an effort to breathe slowly to lead by example.

‘Good. You are safe. I promise, I will protect you.’

Oswald's heart was racing in his chest but he was breathing slower and his mind had started working again.

_Everything’s fine. I’m fine._

 

Oswald’s eyes blurred and his lips quivered.

_No, I’m not. I’m not fine._

He started crying, loudly and suddenly, and Victor looked concerned.

‘He drugged me!’ Oswald was screaming. ‘He drugged me, kidnapped me, shot me while I was _proposing!_ I almost drowned and then I almost bled out and I-’

He made a chocked sound and took a deep breath.

Victor was very still. ‘You proposed?’

‘YES!’ That yes could’t be described as anything but an angry growl. ‘I proposed and he tried to kill me!’

There was a long pause after that.

Victor frowned. ’You must hate him.'

‘But I don’t!’ Oswald laughed hysterically. ‘I DON’T. And that’s driving me insane! I tried, Victor, I-‘ Oswald suddenly deflated and stopped talking.

 

Victor looked even more concerned by Oswald’s silence than by his crying.

‘Boss?’

Oswald felt like he had just run into a brick wall.

_A revelation, at last._

‘I don’t hate him.’ His voice was barely more than a whisper. ‘I should but I don’t hate him at all. I’m still in love with him and that _terrifies_ me.’

Oswald squeezed his eyes shut. ‘What is wrong with me?’

Victor was silent.

Oswald looked up at him.

Victor’s expression was unreadable. He got up and grabbed Oswald’s towel, draping it on his lap.

_Right, I’m still naked._

He wasn’t embarrassed when he realised it, though. Somewhere along the way, Victor had become a part of his family.

Maybe Ed hadn’t been his only friend after all.

 

Oswald hung the towel around his waist while Victor helped him up and walked him to the bedroom, making Oswald sit down on the bed.

He repeated his question. ‘What is _wrong_ with me?’

Victor brought him his clothes and stood still in front him.

‘You don’t get to choose who you fall in love with. You can only decide what to do with that love.’

There was a sadness to his voice that Oswald couldn’t begin to understand. He shook his head, trying to clear it.

Victor made to leave the room, probably to give him some privacy since he had to change.

Oswald grabbed his wrist. ‘Thank you, Victor.’ He wasn’t used to saying thank you, but what had just happened made him realise just how lucky he was to have Victor in his life.

 

Victor seemed surprised. He smiled.

_That is the most genuine smile I’ve ever seen on him._

Victor suddenly dropped to one knee and took the hand that grabbed his wrist into his palm.

‘I am yours, now and forever.’

Victor kissed his hand, looking deep into Oswald’s eyes. Oswald felt as if he was seeing Victor for the first time.

Oswald turned as red as a tomato and finally understood Victor’s sadness.

_He feels about me the way I feel about Ed._

Victor stood up and made to leave again.

Oswald was struggling with the second revelation of the day and recovered just in time to stop him before he walked out.

‘Wait!’

Victor turned back, looking like he really just wanted to be left alone.

He opened his mouth and realised there’s nothing he could say to make him feel better.

Nothing at all.

 

After a couple of seconds he decided to at least ask a question.

‘How did you know I needed help? How did you know how to… calm me down?’

‘I came to tell you Martin is getting better with knives and I heard splashing noises from the bathroom. When you didn’t answer I broke down the door.’

Oswald looked at the bathroom door on the floor. He hadn’t even noticed it.

_That’s right, I locked the door._

‘And I knew what to do because I have panic attacks sometimes.’

Oswald simply stared. _Oh._

They looked at each other for a long time, Victor silently begging him not to ask.

Oswald nodded and Victor took it as a sign he could leave.

 

Ever since Ed had left, Oswald avoided being alone in a room for a long time. He showered quickly, dressed even faster, and never ate a meal alone.

He was aware that couldn’t last forever.

He stared into nothing for a long time before slowly starting to dress. He was spent but he had an important announcement to make.

When he finally walked downstairs the press was already there. Victor and Ivy waited for him at the bottom of the stairs.

‘There you are, Pengy!’

Victor remained silent.

Oswald smiled at him, using the last bit of energy he had left.

_Screw the people of Gotham, he deserves my smile more than all of them put together. I took people for granted long enough._

Oswald walked to the press and gave his speech. He had prepared one for the occasion, but after what he had just gone through he just couldn’t be bothered to be nice. He refused to answer any question and simply said he resigned for personal reasons.

 

Victor held the journalists back when Oswald all but ran out of the room and they tried to follow. Oswald went back to his bedroom and closed the door behind him.

He sighed, sliding down against it.

He suddenly noticed Martin was there.

_He is so small._

Martin walked up to him, eager expression on his face, and showed him how good he had got at stabbing.

Oswald smiled fondly and walked to the bed.

‘You lean so quickly. I’m proud of you.’

Martin sat down next to him on the bed.

Oswald stifled a yawn. ‘I had a long day. I need some sleep now. Do you want me to ask Roger to drive you home?’

Martin violently shook his head and looked scared. He started scribbling.

Oswald read, ‘They adopted me just for the state money. I hate them.’

The looked at each other.

 

Martin ripped out the page and scribbled some more. He showed Oswald his pad with the most hopeful expression Oswald had ever seen.

It read, ‘Can I stay with you?’

It was clear in Martin’s eyes that he meant _forever_.

Oswald stared at the small piece of paper for a while and his heart burst with emotion. _Too much is happening today._

He looked at Martin and finally accepted the reason why he was initially drawn to the child. His deep brown eyes and curly brown hair looked just like Ed’s, when Ed dried it naturally.

Oswald’s heart seemed to expand in his chest.

_He’s offering me a family._

‘Yes, you can stay. I’ll sign the formal paperwork tomorrow.’

Martin beamed at him and jumped at his neck, hugging him.

Oswald tentatively hugged him back.

_So I guess I have a child now._

Oswald shook his head, unbelieving, and relaxed into the hug.

_I will deal with the rest tomorrow._

 

They hugged for a long time and, without even realising it, fell asleep like that, fully dressed over the blanket. The last thing Oswald saw before closing his eyes was the origami penguin Ed made for him, what seemed like a lifetime ago.

 

—

 

The day after Oswald felt energised.

He signed all the paperwork to resign as mayor and to adopt Martin. He gave Martin his own bedroom but the kid kept crawling into bed with him when it was time to sleep. Oswald decided not to say anything about that, Martin needed a parent figure and he seemed quite attention-starved.

Plus, ever since Ed had left, Oswald realised he didn’t like sleeping alone. He had never minded before.

Victor was surprised at Oswald’s sudden parenthood but he didn’t make any attempt to change his mind. Martin had evidently grown on him, as well.

 

While newspapers speculated wildly about what drove Oswald to resign, his life went back to routine gangster work for a blessed couple of days. Until he heard the news on the third day.

Ed broadcasted on TV a hostage situation, planning on killing Jim if “the Court” didn’t step forward.

Oswald didn’t know who “the Court” was but the situation looked quite dramatic, even by Ed’s standards, and he had a bad feeling about it. His eyes stayed glued to the TV until the video connection was lost and the news lady apologised for the disturbing footage.

Martin watched Oswald pace nervously around the living room from where he was sitting, on the couch.

‘This can’t be good. The Court, the Court of what?’

Martin looked around, unsure of whom Oswald expected to answer him.

 

Oswald squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.

‘If this Court really does secretly run Gotham without even the _King of Gotham_ knowing-‘

Oswald felt a shiver run down his spine.

_What if this is out of my depth?_

He thought about drinking but remembered Martin was still there and it was still daytime. So he dropped ungraciously on the couch, next to the boy, and whined.

‘I need Ed. He’s the only one.’ He was rubbing his forehead again.

Martin frowned at him.

‘He would know what to do.’

Martin quickly drew on his pad a question mark.

Oswald couldn’t help but laugh.

 

—

 

Gordon found Oswald and Bridgit waiting for him outside of his new place the day after, after Oswald was told Ed “escaped custody” inside the GCPD.

_What a dump. Oh, how the mighty Jim Gordon has fallen._

Oswald was glad to see the man at such a low point in his life, but a small annoying part of him was just sad for his old friend.

‘Oswald.’

Jim looked surprised.

‘Hello, Jim.’

Bridgit held up her flame-thrower with a grin.

‘I take it this isn’t a social call.’

‘Oh, it could have been, but you made it _very_ clear you don’t want to be my friend.’

Oswald had more important matters to discuss than Jim’s numerous betrayals, but it was nice to see that Jim had the courtesy to at least look a bit uncomfortable.

 

‘I’m looking for Ed. Turns out, you are the last one who saw him.’

‘Yeah,’ Jim looked wary, ‘before he escaped police custody.’

Oswald looked at him, unimpressed.

‘Escaped? From the great detective Gordon? I think not.’ Oswald walked up to Jim with his cane. ‘Ed went on television demanding information about a group that runs Gotham. A group that calls itself the Court. You called in and said you had that information-‘

‘A ruse to get him to the GCPD.’

Oswald pretended to consider it. ‘Perhaps. But then you arrest him and voilà, he disappears! Sorry, he “escapes custody”.’ Oswald made finger quote marks.

‘Can you see, how I might think that you handed Ed off to this all-powerful group for some reason?’

 

By that point Oswald was centimetres away from Jim’s face and well into his personal space.

‘For your own sake, Oswald, drop it.’

Oswald smiled sweetly. ‘I knew it. I was hoping you’d say that and I’d be forced to do a little convincing.’

Jim frowned. ‘Why do you still care about him anyway? Isn’t he the one who shot you?’

Oswald hissed and grabbed Jim by the collar.

‘That’s none of your business.’

Jim’s eyes widened and Oswald's anger subsided as quickly as it erupted. He took a step back, trying to regain his composure.

‘I’ll give you a chance to think about it for old times’s sake. Here’s a phone with which you can contact me. Don’t disappoint me again or this will be your last betrayal, Jim.’

Oswald slipped the phone in Jim’s jacket pocket and walked away with Bridgit in tow, not looking back.

 

Later, Oswald wouldn’t remember what he did in the time between their conversation and the call, he simply waited in a catatonic state, hoping that Jim would make the right choice.

When Jim finally called, it wasn’t what Oswald was expecting.

Oswald jumped at the ringing and opened the phone.

‘Hello, Jim. I was beginning to think I wasn't going to hear from you.’

Jim didn’t sound like he was talking to him, though. ‘I met you the other night, didn't I? When you took Nygma?’

Oswald frowned. ‘Jim?’

‘I keep wondering what it is the Court is planning to do with him.’

Another voice said, ‘Stop talking.’

_He wants me to hear this conversation._

‘This used to be a bank, right? First Bank of Gotham? I just hope it can withstand whatever the bomb's going to do to it. It sounds like we don't have much time.’

_He’s telling me where he is._

The other voice seemed annoyed. ‘Shut up.’

Jim exhaled, ’Sure.’

 

As soon as the line went dead, Oswald turned to Victor, who was standing in the doorway. ‘There’s a bomb about to go off inside Gotham’s first bank and it’s somehow connected to this Court. I’ll get Firefly and you meet us at the car.’

Victor looked murderous. ‘This time I'm invited?’

Oswald huffed. ‘I already told you, Jim wouldn’t hurt me and that’s why I didn’t ask you to come along earlier.’

‘You mean, that’s why you _sneaked out_ -‘

‘We don’t have time for this!’ Victor didn’t even flinch at the scream. ‘We need to go NOW.‘

‘I don’t give a fuck about _Ed._ There’s a bomb and you’re just going to put yourself in danger-‘

‘Then do it for _me_!’

Victor’s nostrils flared.

Oswald lowered his voice and tried not to feel guilty about appealing to Victor's unrequited love. He failed. ’Do it for me. I don’t want to end up like my parents, they had found true love and they let it slip away. They never found it again. I need to do this, please.’

After a very long minute, Victor nodded and they went.

 

—

 

Jim was already fighting a guy with a mask when they arrived, and Bridgit torched him so violently that he fell out of the internal window into the centre of the building.

Jim watched him land and yelled at the people downstairs, ‘Everyone out! Now!’ Then he turned to Oswald. ‘Took you long enough. I need to get these people out of here.’

_Always the hero._

Oswald walked up to him. ‘And I need to talk to the Court and have them turn over Ed, remember?’

_Not that you ever cared about what I needed._

‘There is a bomb down there with a weaponized version of the Alice Tetch virus. If you want to be here when it goes off, be my guest.’

Oswald looked at the people running and screaming.

‘What about our deal?’

Jim gave him the trademark Gordon look. ‘You just torched their assassin. My guess is they'll be in touch.’

Oswald swallowed and let Jim run downstairs.

Victor, who was a step behind him, sighed. ‘Can we get the hell out now?’

Oswald conceded and they ran out of the building.

 

After they drove back home, Oswald started pacing the living room.

‘Why haven’t they made contact? And where the hell is Ivy and the human popsicle?’

‘I don’t know, boss.’ Victor didn’t sound worried, though, if anything he sounded _relieved_.

There was a thud behind them.

Oswald turned around to see that Bridgit had been knocked out by a man dressed in black with a mask, similar to the one she had torched earlier.

Victor immediately stepped in front of Oswald.

Oswald held up a hand to prevent any fighting.

‘Do you have Edward Nygma?’

The masked man tilted his head to the side, looking remarkably like an owl.

‘Do you have the Riddler?’ Oswald was breathing heavily.

_This might be my only chance._

 

The black-suited man was obviously taken aback by the question but eventually decided to answer. He nodded.

Oswald let go of the breath he was holding and tried to push down his well-trained survival instinct.

_There is no other way._

‘Victor, step aside.’

Victor didn’t move.

‘Let me go.’

The best assassin Oswald had ever met turned to him with a devastated look. A look that said, ‘Don’t ask me to do this.’

Oswald tried to reassure him with his eyes. ‘Take care of Martin while I’m gone.’

Victor seemed to come to a decision and, whatever that decision was, he finally stepped aside and let Oswald be taken by the masked man into the night.

 

—

 

Oswald stayed quiet while he was pushed in the back of a car, blindfolded. He remained silent when they arrived in an isolated building and he was told to dress in an atrocious nondescript onesie. But when they threw him in some kind of round cage placed in the middle of a round room with creepy owl statues looking down at him from all sides, he exploded.

‘My name is Oswald Cobblepot. You cannot cage me like an animal. I demand to speak to the person in charge!’

The guards didn’t pay attention to him and left the room, locking the door.

 

’Oswald. It’s so good to see you.’

Oswald slowly turned around to face the familiar voice.

_Finally._

Ed looked happy to see him and not surprised at all.

They were alone in the room, trapped in the same dirty-looking cage. The room Ed had probably been locked in for the last 24 hours.

‘Ed?’

Ed walked towards him with a giant goofy smile on his face.

’I miss you, Oswald.’

Oswald was speechless. He was happy to see Ed, but something was wrong.

Ed’s eyes looked unfocused. ‘I knew you’d come back to haunt me eventually.’

Ed wasn’t surprised _at all_. It was as if he had been expecting him.

He took Oswald’s hand into his and squeezed it.

 

Oswald squeezed back and finally found his voice. ‘How did you know I’d come for you?’

‘You always do. You’re always there, to remind me of what I lost.’ Ed looked sadly at him.

’But that’s ok, I deserve it. We’ve talked about this so many times. You tell me I ruined everything and that I don’t deserve you.’ Ed laughed hysterically. ‘And I tell you that you cannot possibly hate me more than I hate myself.’

Oswald flinched at that. ‘I don’t hate-‘

Then his brain caught up with Ed’s words and he felt a cold shiver run down his spine.

‘Ed, we’ve never had this conversation before.’

 

Ed sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. ‘Just say whatever you have to say. I deserve it and more. At least I get to see you.’

Oswald stayed silent for a very long time, his eyes widening more and more by the second.

_He’s been hallucinating me. He thinks I’m not really here. He must be on drugs._

‘Ed, why would you do this to yourself?’

Ed shrugged and walked closer to him, hands still interlocked.

Oswald was frozen where he was, back against the metal bars.

Ed chuckled. ‘Because I want to see you but I don't deserve to.’

 

Oswald let his mouth drop open.

Ed lifted his hand and tentatively touched Oswald’s face. He gasped in relief and eagerly cupped Oswald’s face with both hands.

‘You usually push me away. Why aren’t you pushing me away?’

Oswald felt tears coming. ‘I don’t hate you, Ed. I should but I don’t. I could never hate you.’ He tried to focus on his breathing and on the feeling of Ed’s hands on his cheeks.

By the time Oswald finally opened his eyes, Ed had already leaned in, a millimetre away from his lips.

‘Ed,’ Oswald was silently crying and put his hands over Ed’s, on his own face.

‘I am _real_.’

Ed smiled. ‘It’s so nice of you to say that.’

Then he closed the short distance and kissed him.

 

Oswald found himself pushed back against the metal bars while Ed scavenged his mouth, desperately looking for forgiveness in his hair, mouth and fingers.

The kiss was rough and Oswald’s back hurt, but talking was more painful so he let go and returned the kiss with just as much desperation.

Oswald pushed back against Ed and ground their hips together.

Ed started undoing their front buttons.

Everything was happening so fast that only then it occurred to Oswald, that it would be his first time.

_In a prison. How befitting._

Oswald chuckled and Ed looked at him curiously.

He had managed to get both their onesies halfway down their bodies and Oswald had slid them off the rest of the way, leaving them completely naked in the chilly air of the prison.

They just looked at each other for a second.

_This is insane. We are literally locked up in a cage and guards could come in at any second. And all I can think about is how much I want him inside of me._

 

Oswald’s head fell backwards, shamelessly exposing his neck to Ed’s teeth.

Ed bit down hard, so hard it was damaging the skin, while his greedy hands roamed over Oswald’s body, restlessly.

Oswald let out a soft moan and immediately closed his mouth so that the guards wouldn’t come back to check what was going on. Then he grabbed Ed’s face in his hands and looked at him straight in the eye.

Ed slid his hand down Oswald’s back and cupped his butt cheeks.

A sharp intake of breath and Oswald realised what was about to happen.

Ed pushed Oswald even more against the hard metal and slid his hand through the bars to reach even lower.

Their bodies were so intertwined that it was hard to tell them apart, as they held onto each other for dear life.

 

When Ed reached his goal, he started working him open with his fingers.

Oswald felt like he was about to faint and had to bite his lower lip so hard that he drew blood, not to scream. From pain or pleasure, he couldn’t really tell. With Ed, it was always a bit of both.

‘Ed, I-‘ Oswald tried to catch his breath. ‘I have never done this before.’

Ed blushed. ‘Me neither.’

Oswald hissed and bit back another scream.

‘Please.’

Oswald himself was not sure what he was pleading for.

Ed took back his hand and positioned himself, trembling.

Oswald’s mind was split in half with bliss and pain when Ed pushed in.

Ed made a sound that was somewhere between a gasp and a moan and Oswald had to put his hand over Ed’s mouth to silence him.

_The guards._

 

Ed started thrusting while holding Oswald’s knees up with his arms, using the metal bars as a hard surface to hold on to. He was basically holding up Oswald’s entire weight, making him completely forget about his limp.

Oswald was already over the edge, adrenaline cursing through his veins instead of blood, and he came with a strangled cry. His lip was bleeding heavily from how much he’d bitten into it.

Ed was looking at him like he was the most beautiful sight on Earth and seemed reach climax with a loud gasp just by watching him come.

Oswald had never seen Ed’s face during an orgasm, it was feral like a wild animal.

Ed let him down slowly, holding him up when his foothold proved wobbly at best. They were both panting.

Oswald felt sore all over and every inch of his skin bruised. He let himself slip downwards and sat on the floor, pulling up his onesie and closing it around himself.

Ed tucked himself in and closed the buttons, as well. He had a strange expression on his face and he stared at Oswald.

It was in that moment that the explosion happened.

 


	15. We Must Be Killers (Edward)

_I woke up_

_I was stuck in a dream_

_You were there_

_You were tearing up everything_

 

_But we all know how to fake it, baby_

_We all know what we've done_

 

_We must be killers_

_Children of the wild ones_

_Killers_

_Where we got left to run?_

 

_Set my body free_

_Silver tigers in the moonlight running_

_And the wind in the trees_

_Singing 'Do you believe?'_

 

_And we all know how to fake it, baby_

_And all we know is gone_

 

_We must be killers_

_Children of the wild ones_

 

_We Must Be Killers - Mikky Ekko_

 

 

The explosion had shaken Ed out of his thoughts.

He instinctively threw himself over Oswald to protect him from the debris flying around, even though hallucinations can’t get hurt.

_I failed protecting him once, I won’t do it again._

Oswald screamed and coughed up dust, holding onto Ed.

‘Boss?’

Ed’s ears were ringing.

Oswald croaked out, ‘In here!’

When the dust finally settled, Ed could see Victor Zsasz running towards them from a hole in the wall. He reached them and shot the cage lock to open it.

Oswald used Ed to prop himself up and coughed out some more dust.

He seemed impressed. ’How did you find us so fast?’

Victor grinned. ‘I used the big guns.’

Ed dreaded to imagine what Victor thought of as “big guns”.

 

Victor gave Oswald a knife and ushered him out the cage. ’We need to leave, there might still be guards standing.’

Oswald took Ed’s hand and they followed Victor out, through dark corridors and ruins.

They ran into three guards, who were promptly taken out by Oswald. He slid the last one’s throat, getting blood all over himself.

Ed was unbelievably turned on. He was not so sure he was hallucinating anymore, but he just had sex with Oswald and now they were escaping from prison together, so if it was all just a dream he never wanted to wake up.

Victor walked faster. ’There's the car.’

They finally found themselves outside, on an anonymous street of Gotham, bathed in the moonlight.

Roger was waiting for them in the limousine and the situation was so perfect that Ed really couldn't tell real from wishful thinking anymore.

 

‘Ed?’

Oswald was trying to make Ed snap out of his staring, but he just couldn’t help it. Oswald looked disheveled and half of his front buttons were undone. He was covered in blood that looked black in the moonlight and he had never seemed more real to Ed.

Ed kissed him and realised that the taste of blood on Oswald’s lips was giving him a hard-on.

Oswald laughed and kissed him back on his tiptoes, then pulled Ed by the hand towards the car.

Victor’s voice was icy. ‘We need to leave _now_.’

When they were all inside the car, Roger drove off at alarming speed through Gotham until they reached the Mansion.

 

When they arrived, Ivy ran outside to meet them.

She hugged Ed first, ‘There’s some hot herbal tea waiting for you inside-’, and Oswald second, ‘-and for Pengy hot chocolate.’

Ed smiled. _Pengy._ He had missed her.

Victor hurried everyone inside, locking the door behind them. ‘I don’t want any more surprises from those owl fanatics.’

Oswald leaned on the nearest wall and smiled to Victor, obviously exhausted. ‘Thank you, Victor. I knew I could count on you.’

Victor looked at him worriedly and positioned himself to his right, holding up his weight. They started slowly walking up the stairs.

Jealously took hold of Ed and he found himself helping Oswald, too, holding him up from the left.

Victor gave Ed an exasperated look but didn’t comment.

Ivy sighed. ‘I guess the tea and chocolate will have to wait. Goodnight!’

 

They brought Oswald up to the master bedroom, which Ed noticed with relief had been emptied of medical equipment.

_But then again, all of this could be happening inside my head._

Oswald was placed on the bed and fell asleep immediately.

Ed started looking around himself, trying to decide if he had finally gone completely insane and it was all a dream of his deranged mind.

The details of the Mansion seemed real enough but Ed didn't trust himself so easily. Especially since he wanted so bad for it to be true.

Victor had left without Ed noticing and he came back a minute later with a kid.

Ed was standing next to Oswald’s lying figure and turned his head to the child, frowning.

Victor led the curly-haired kid closer to Oswald. The child seemed worried about Oswald and he was silently crying.

 

Ed wasn’t sure what was going on but the silence was making him restless so he tried to start a conversation.

‘Hello.’

The child looked up at him, as if noticing him for the first time. Victor placed a hand on his tiny shoulder.

They were standing on opposite sides of the room, separated by the bed in the middle.

‘My name is Ed. What is your name?’

The kid smiled as soon as he heard Ed’s name. He seemed to recognise him somehow and immediately looked less scared. He had such an expressive face.

Ed cleared his throat. ‘Oswald just needs some sleep, he will feel better soon. Is he your friend?’

 

Evidently that was the right thing to say, because the child lit up and started quickly scribbling on a piece of paper. Then he handed it to Ed.

It read, ‘I’m Martin. Nice to meet you.’ Underneath the word there was a stylised drawing of two men holding a child's hands on each side, one with a fringe and the other with glasses.

The meaning was quite clear.

Eyes wide and mouth agape, Ed looked up at Martin.

_Oswald had a son while I was gone?! He can't be his biological child, right? And why does he think I’m his other dad?_

Victor took the piece of paper and scoffed. Then he took pity on Ed and explained, ‘Oswald adopted him. He lives here now and he’s under my protection.’

Ed’s mind was still reeling and he took a deep breath. _He says that as if it explains why this Martin expects me to be his dad._

Martin was still smiling and he crawled into bed with Oswald, cuddling up to him.

Ed was about to say something, but when he saw the expression on Victor’s face he refrained from making any comment on the situation.

_This can’t be a dream. I’m not insane enough to make this up._

 

Victor covered up Martin and Oswald with a blanket and left the room, turning off the light with Ed still in there.

_He really doesn’t like me._

Ed didn’t leave the moonlit room for another few minutes, though. He stood still, next to the bed, looking at Oswald snuggling up closer to Martin in his sleep. His subconscious was obviously used to those sleeping arrangements.

Ed couldn’t help but stare, it was the cutest thing he had ever seen.

_So we have a kid now. Would have been nice of Oswald to mention it before passing out._

Ed left the room and laughed at the craziness of the situation. He would decide if it was all a dream in the morning.

 

—

 

The morning came with bad news.

Ivy barged into Ed’s old guest bedroom and pushed him off the mattress.

‘What the-‘

‘Oswald was arrested.’

Ed stopped flailing between the sheets on the floor, his blood running cold.

‘What?’

Ivy rolled his eyes and held out a hand for Ed to grab and push himself up.

Ed did just that. ‘What do you mean, arrested?’

‘I mean,’ Ivy led him downstairs, ‘that early this morning Oswald heard Fish was back in Gotham and thought it was a good idea to go looking for her on his own. Everybody is freaking out about the Alice Tetch virus and Fish was gunned down when the police found out she stole Strange’s antidote. The antidote was lost in the fight and Jim arrested Oswald.’

Ed was struggling to keep up. ‘So the Court really did it. They released the virus upon Gotham.’

They reached the living room and Ivy pointed to the TV. ‘See for yourself.’

 

Ed, still half-asleep, walked to the couch and sat down next to Victor, who was watching the news with his eyes glued to the screen. Martin was sat in his lap, looking smaller and more frightened than he had the night before.

‘We’re still getting reports of random violence across all of Gotham. The police is trying to suppress the riots but the virus is spreading at an alarming rate. Our scientists are still working on finding a cure-‘

Ivy shook her head. ‘They will never find the cure in time if they work on Alice’s blood.’

Ed looked at her. ‘What do you mean?’

Victor started pacing impatiently. ‘I don’t care about the stupid antidote. The police has Oswald and we need to get him back. Any ideas?’

Ed’s heart was beating wildly and he wasn’t feeling sleepy anymore. ‘Ivy, what do you mean?’

Ivy hugged Martin to comfort him and worried her lip. ‘I know enough about viruses to tell you that working directly on the source takes time, time they don’t have. They need to find a way to neutralise it.’

 

Ed frowned and tried to think of a way to use that information to their advantage.

Victor was getting restless. ‘Who cares about the cure? Oswald is locked up.’

Ed rubbed his eyes and tried to drown out Victor’s voice.

‘I say we go in, guns blazing, and we bring him back home before the virus spreads to the whole city.’

Ed exploded. ’Of course, because that’s your solution for everything. Guns!’

Victor pressed his lips together in a thin line. ‘Well, it gets the job done, doesn’t it?’

‘Or it gets Oswald killed! We need to be smart. We need to offer Jim something that he wants more than Oswald in jail.’

Victor walked right into Ed’s personal space. ‘I don’t trust you.’

Ivy and Martin were following the exchange closely, like a match of ping pong, their eyes going back and forwards between them.

Ed deflated and suddenly felt clarity dawning on him.

_This is real. I can feel it, this is all real. Oswald needs me._

 

All of a sudden, Ed felt as if he were in Arkham again, panic creeping on him from all sides. He covered his face with his hands and rocked back and forward.

_Arkham._

He opened his eyes and jumped up. ‘Jervis Tetch!’

Victor, Martin and Ivy looked at him questioningly.

‘Jervis Tetch is Alice’s brother and he’s still locked up in Arkham. His blood is tied to Alice’s so he carries the virus but he's not affected by it. He _is_ the cure!’

Ivy smiled at Ed while Victor looked perplexed.

‘We need to kidnap Jervis and bargain with the police before they figure this out themselves. It's our best chance to save Oswald!’

Those were the magic words.

Victor gathered a group of men to kidnap Jervis and Ed prepared a grenade necklace, hoping his plan would work.

 

—

 

When Victor came back with Jervis, Ed called Jim on the phone.

‘Hello?’

‘Hello, Jim. It’s Ed.’

For a moment there was only silence on the other side.

‘You know, the one you handed over to the Court without a second thought. For being a good guy, you sure don’t act like it, Jim.’

Gordon cleared his throat. ‘What do you want?’

_Our friendship must have meant less than nothing to him._

Ed swallowed. ‘I want Oswald. I assume by now you must have realised Jervis Tetch is the key to make the antidote, and if you want him you’ll have to bargain with me.’

Jim growled, ‘I can’t do that and you know it.’

Ed bared his teeth. ’Well, then I guess I’ll kill our buddy Jervis here. It’s not like anyone is going to miss him anyways.’

‘Wait!’

Another pause from Jim.

‘I don’t like who you’ve become. But… we’re running out of options here,’ he sounded angry, even more than usual, ‘so I’ll release Penguin for the greater good. Meet me at the old docks and we’ll exchange prisoners.’

Ed ended the call and smiled at Victor. ‘It worked.’

 

—

 

They decided only Ed and Victor would go.

Ivy tried to convince them to let her come but there was a rumour that Jim was infected with the virus and they couldn’t take any chances. If it was coming down to a gunfight, which was likely, it was better for Victor to be unencumbered with people to protect.

Ed wouldn’t have been welcome, either, if the idea hadn’t been his.

Roger drove them to the docks. Ed was in charge of keeping an eye on a handcuffed grenade-wearing Jervis while Victor looked out for all three of them.

They had to walk the last few meters to the old docks and Jervis still hadn't stopped talking.

‘I can’t believe they made a weapon of mass destruction out of my sister's genes! Such an ingenious plot, not even in my wildest dre-‘

Victor hit him on the head with the handle of his gun. ‘Shut up!’

‘Ouch!’

‘And stay quiet!’

Jervis mumbled something under his breath but didn’t dare speak up anymore.

 

Ed looked at Victor out of the corner of his eye, frowning. The man was obviously upset, his shoulders were tense and he was gripping his signature two guns so much that his knuckles were white. 

_I never though I would see Victor Zsasz scared._

Ed was jittery. Oswald was real and had found a way to forgive him, but it could all be taken away from him again if the exchange went sideways.

Ed gathered his courage. ’You’re scared that he will be caught in the crossfire. You’re scared that one day you’re going to win the fight but lose the war. That you’re going to lose him.’

Victor gave him a murderous look.

‘I know that because that’s what I'm scared of, too. I went mad when I thought I’d lost him.’

Ed took a deep breath while they kept on walking.

‘That’s how it is with Oswald. He’s beautiful and reckless and ambitious. He wants to be king in a city of wolves. He is the bravest man I know.’

 

Ed sighed. ‘And he’s a free spirit, like a bird. He can’t be kept safe in a cage, he’s a force of nature.’

Victor remained silent.

‘I know you think I don’t deserve him. And you’re right, I don’t. But for some misguided reason he loves me back, and now that I know he does, you cannot keep me away from him.’

Jervis gasped. ‘That was beautiful!‘

Victor hit him in the head again.

Ed smiled. ‘I know you love him, too. If we work together, we can save him.’

Victor stopped walking and simply nodded.

Ed took a deep breath. ‘We’re here.’

Victor opened the door to the old docks warehouse. They walked in and found Jim and Harvey holding a handcuffed Oswald kneeled on the floor, at the centre of the building.

Victor bared his teeth and marched towards them, while Ed tried to keep his anger hidden.

 

When they were a few feet away from Oswald, Jim held up a hand. ‘That is enough. Give us Tetch and you'll get Oswald, that was the deal.’

Oswald mouthed a ‘thank you’ to Victor and Ed.

Victor looked murderous. ‘What if instead I just kill you both?’

Ed admonished him, ‘Victor.’

Harvey raised his eyebrows. ‘Oh, yeah? And what if we let Penguin rot in jail like he deserves?’

Ed grabbed Victor by his forearm and whispered, ‘Let it go.’

Victor rolled his eyes and stepped back.

Ed pushed Jervis in front of him. ‘Voilà!’

Harvey noticed the necklace and took a step back. ‘I’m assuming the grenade's not a fashion statement.’

Ed smiled. ‘Precaution. You two try anything, I pull the pin and kaboom! No more Tetch. No hope for an antidote.’

Jim growled, ‘Enough! Let's get this done.’

 

Jervis started laughing hysterically. ‘You’re infected, as expected!’

Victor pointed his guns at Jim and Harvey, one for each. ‘Hand Oswald over.’

Jim started to do so when they all turned their heads at the sound of a door opening.

A singsong voice yelled, ’Nyyyyygma!’ and laughed.

It was Barbara, followed by Butch and Tabitha. They were all carrying guns.

_Shit._

‘We had been such good partners lately, and then you had to go and forget about me. I never thought you would be _that guy._  The one who forgets about his friends when he gets a boyfriend.’ She giggled.

Jim huffed, ‘This situation doesn’t concern you, Barbara.’

‘Oh, but it does. I’m always left out of interesting things. Now, Nygma, be a good boy and bring me the walking antidote there.’

For the longest second nobody moved and Ed had to make a split-second choice.

_Fuck all of them. I’m getting Oswald out._

He took the grenade from Jervis’s neck and threw it at Barbara. Then he grabbed Oswald and ran out of the warehouse, Victor following one step behind, covering their backs.

 

—

 

In the next few weeks, life at the Manor settled into a strangely domestic routine.

Oswald and Ed shared the bed in the master bedroom and Martin got the bedroom closest to them, which was Ed’s old guest room. More often than not, though, all three of them were sleeping together in Oswald's king-sized bed.

Victor finally accepted to officially move into the Manor, in theory to be on the job 24/7 but actually because he had become an important part of their dysfunctional family.

Ivy settled into her new life at the Manor and invited Selina over on Sundays, when they always had a big lunch with the entire household. Selina said she accepted only for the free food but Ed caught her looking wistful more than once.

It never ceased to amaze Ed how full of life the Mansion had become. There was always someone running around, whether it was Bridgit fighting with Victor Fries again (although it was starting to feel like friendly banter), or Martin asking Ed if they could play boardgames together (turns out that riddles and word play were the key to make him start speaking), or even Ivy trying to convince Victor Zsasz to learn more about subtler ways to kill (such as plant-based poisons).

 

There was never a quiet moment in the house and, although fights broke out quite often, on most days they were a big happy family.

When it all became a bit too much, Ed and Oswald took refuge at the Iceberg Lounge (Oswald bought the Sirens and reshaped it in his style) and had a couple of drinks at the bar, talking about all the stress that came with being Gotham’s crime power couple. Running an entire city and coparenting Martin really took it out of them, but they wouldn’t have it any other way. Plus, everyone wanted to help out with Martin. Ivy and Victor were basically his second parents and Olga always spoiled him.

 

On one of those occasions when they felt overwhelmed, Ed and Oswald headed for the Iceberg Lounge and found themselves a booth. The Lounge wouldn’t open until 10pm, so during the day they had it all for themselves.

Oswald stretched out on the expensive seats. ’They say the last of the Tetch virus was eradicated last night.’

Ed sipped his drink. ‘Maybe in the city centre, but the Narrows are still a mess.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Do you remember what I told you, when you bought this place?’

Oswald looked up at him, smiling. ‘How could I ever forget? You were strange that day, stranger than usual. You had Victor Fries make me a huge block of ice and called it an iceberg.’ Oswald shook his head. ‘As good luck, you said.’

 

Ed laughed. ‘You looked at me as if I was crazy. But you still called this place Iceberg Lounge.’

Oswald chuckled. ‘Yes, well, it has a nice ring to it.’

Ed stood up and held out a hand for Oswald to take. ‘I couldn't have phrased it better myself.’

Oswald took his hand, looking curious, and let himself be led by Ed to the place where the block of ice stood.

Oswald laughed nervously. ‘Why did you bring me here?’

Ed positioned him so that he was facing the centre of the iceberg. ‘Look inside.’

 

Oswald looked, squinting his eyes and even using his new monocle glass which Ed said made him look old, but secretly found incredibly sexy.

After a minute Oswald gasped.

‘On your finger I am round. I’m inside every tree. I am also a bell’s sound. What am I?’

Oswald covered his mouth with both his hands. ‘It’s been there the whole time?’

Ed grinned. ‘Yes, one only had to look closer.’

Oswald threw his arms around Ed and squeezed tight.

 

Ed hugged him back and looked over Oswald’s shoulder at the engagement ring trapped at the centre of the block of ice. A diamond ring with purple side gems.

They disentangled and Ed went down on one knee. ‘Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot, will you do me the honour of becoming my husband?’

Oswald also went down on one knee, crying happily. He took out the green engagement ring from his front pocket. ‘I will if you will.’

Ed extended his hand and Oswald slipped the ring on his finger. Then they both stood up, laughing like maniacs.

‘You’ll have yours soon, I need to melt the ice first.’

 

Oswald chuckled and lifted himself up on his tiptoes to kiss Ed.

‘You are insane!’

‘That's what I've been told. But isn’t love a kind of insanity?’

 

 

THE END

 


End file.
